Friday, January 1, 2016

An Owl Is Silently Stalking Oregon's Officials

Silently he watches, high in the trees, talons gripping the wood.  His dark cold eyes follow his targets, digging his talons deep into the wood with anticipation of the violence to come.  

The residents of Oregon have had it with their government leadership, and are taking a non-traditional approach to public discourse: stealthy stalking, followed by a violent lashing with their inch-long talons.

I see all, my neck can swivel like 360 degrees.

One resident in particular is leading the charge: a barred owl, thought to be the same bird that was terrorizing joggers in a Salem, Oregon, park last February, has three people outside the state Capitol building in just one month. The officials are wary of the animal, though no serious injuries have been reported. City parks department spokeswoman Tibby Larson gave Reuters this spectacular gem of a quote:
“It’s silent. You’re just walking along, minding your own business, and an owl comes silently at you from behind.”
Police are monitoring reports of attacks, but probably won’t do anything to stop the owl. Truly, this should serve as a rallying cry to the rest of the nation: if you’re unhappy with your elected officials, take action! The days of passive resistance are gone, and we will be led into the new year by a wild-eyed, talon-wielding owl of freedom.

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