Friday, October 30, 2015

Celebrate Halloween With Spooky Simpsons Style

Questions: Are you:

  1. One of the crazy few people who still has television?
  2. In need of a scary but funny Halloween treat?

If you answered yes to all of the above then thanks to the people at FXX (Fox's semi-obscure but pretty good newest network) you are about to have a spooky fun time.

FXX cable is airing a week-long marathon of every episode of The Simpsons annual Halloween show, "Treehouse of Horror." It will culminate in a full day marathon of all 25 "Treehouse of Horror" episodes.

That means you get all of some of the best episodes of the best television show to ever appear on television.  

The one where Homer goes back in time with his toaster.  The one where Bart meets his evil twin.  The one where Lisa creates a sentient race inside of a plastic cup.  They are all there, including one of my favorite moments ever:

Feelin' fine.

Some of the times where America's favorite family gets their wackiest and most unhinged, for your entertainment.

As of tonight it is in full swing.  Enjoy!

Watch The Cops Wound And Then Finish Off A Balloon

After the blimp—you know the onegently came to rest in a quiet corner of the Pennsylvania countryside on Wednesday afternoon, state police swarmed over it and pumped that fucker full of lead.

R.I.P. blimp, we hardly knew ye.

According to the Associated Press, the gentle giant, while grounded, still had some helium in its nose. State police, armed with shotguns, fired about 100 shots at it.

U.S. Army Captain Matthew Villa said it is still not known how the 240-foot helium-filled blimp known as the JLENS, or Joint Land Attack Cruise Missile Defense Elevated Netted Sensor System, broke loose from its mooring at Aberdeen Proving Ground, and that a two-person accident-investigation team was headed to the site of its landing.

Sensitive electronics on board the blimp have been recovered, Villa said. As The Intercept pointed out last year, promotional material from the billion-dollar blimp’s manufacturer, Raytheon, lauded a test in which the JLENS radar “simultaneously detected and tracked double-digit swarming boats, hundreds of cars and trucks, non-swarming boats and manned and unmanned aircraft.” The military is considering using helicopters to remove the rest of the wreckage.

(Also from The Intercept, here is an excellent and creepy documentary about a similar U.S. military surveillance balloon tethered about Kabul.)

On Wednesday, Kay Houseknecht looked out her window and saw the remnants of the blimp “flapping in the trees.” “What a waste,” she said.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Tens of Thousands Are Watching Bob Ross Paint Right Now

Oh Lord Internet, you have blessed us all again.  Blessed us with almost limitless happy trees.  

Bob Ross is in the building.

There’s something really awesome about seeing people react in real time to brush strokes on canvas. It’s like every single thing Bob Ross does, no matter how gentle and delicate, is as big as a major play in the World Series.

Confused? Well, Twitch just launched a new initiative, which happens to be called ‘Twitch Creative.’  Basically an avenue for cool people to officially do what they already were online. It’s where people can go to watch others do crafty stuff, like paint or cosplay prep. You can read more about that here. 

To celebrate that launch, Twitch is holding an 8-day marathon of every single Bob Ross episode.
 It's pretty incredible, and not just in the "lol this is the internet and everything is ironically funny."  Bob Ross has been remembered not just for the memes y'all, it just so happens that not only is he a talented artist with a flair for niceties and "bobisms" (cue the happy trees, clouds, etc.) He is also just a real cool dude that has perhaps the most relaxing show to ever appear on public television.

You can go watch him do his thing here, if only for the chat's reactions.  

And a happy tree to us all! 

Illmatic Manga Is Something You Didn't Even Know You Wanted

The great thing about the Internet, it shows you things you didn't even know you wanted.  Things you didn't even know existed.

For instance, you may be a fan of hip-hop music, and also be a fan of comics.  You might just also be a fan of Nas's 1994 classic album Illmatic.  One of the most incredible and influential albums of all time.

You might just be yearning for a mashup.

And what a mashup!

Let’s say you’ve been yearning for a hip-hop manga inspired by Nas’ seminal album Illmatic. Tephlon Funk might be just what you’re looking for. The demo sample makes it feel like a classic rap narrative told in dramatic, decompressed Japanese comics style. Check out their Kickstarter to see how you can help the creators make Tephlon Funk happen.

If anything, you have to admire that name.  That is a great title.

Wednesday, October 28, 2015

Driver (Accidentally) Parks Car On Top of House

On Monday, the driver of a red Ford Mustang, traveling about 60 miles per hour and suffering from blood sugar, The Guardian reports, took a detour across the eastbound lanes of Interstate 60, in Shiawassee County, Michigan, ending up parked haphazardly on the roof of a nearby house.

That Allstate Guy is never gonna believe this.

The house backs up to a hill about 20 miles outside East Lansing, making part of the roof at ground level. The car landed on the roof with a “kaboom,” the homeowner, 83-year-old Joyce Kingsley, told the Associated Press.
“I was just watching TV inside. I had it up pretty loud—but this was much louder,” Kingsley said.
“It could’ve been a lot worse,” Kingsley said. The driver was taken to a hospital and treated for low blood sugar, police said. “I’m glad everyone is alright.”
Make sure to stay hydrated and eat plenty of snacks, people.

Army of Darkness Would Have Made A Rad Nintendo Game

The setting and the story of the third Evil Dead movie would have been perfect for a Metroidvania game. Something similar to the first Castlevania. We never had one, so CineFix imagined how it’d look. Nintendo is cool, Ash and the Evil Dead series is beloved and also a fun time.  So it is surprising that the two never came together in that era.

Turns out, like all of these, it would look pretty cool. Good enough to once again give myself an existential crisis over why these things never existed. 

Why do I torture myself by wanting things that can never be?

The biting Necronomicon would have been a tough boss fight, that’s for sure. And instead of a whip, Ash would have destroyed all the undead with his boomstick and his chainsaw arm.

Again I ask: Why was this not a thing?

Tuesday, October 27, 2015

Look At This Goober On Jeopardy

I will start off this post by stating the obvious: Tom the Jeopardy Contestant is a smart guy by virtue of having been on Jeopardy.  As a person who is familiar with, and hoping to one day engage in the Jeopardy process, it is no small feat to even make it on the show. That’s good for Tom because, even as he stood on the set of Jeopardy, he looked way, way dumber than I do.

A feat that I assure you, is not a small one.

Above you see Tom’s answer to last night’s Final Jeopardy prompt, which stated, “Appropriately, this 1984 blockbuster was the first music CD mass-produced in the United States.” The correct question-response was “What is Bruce Springsteen’s Born in the USA?” Tom wrote “What,” which is neither correct nor a question, and then he lost all of his money.

But Tom’s brain is not the reason why we are here. (Is it ever?) Instead, the internet has been taken by his looks and everyman swagger. “Wow, How’d Your Ex-Boyfriend Tom Make It on to Jeopardy?” asked New York magazine’s The Cut. Our friends at Jezebel rightly note, “Last Night’s Episode of Jeopardy! Made a Hot and Confused Man Named Tom a Star.”

For example, take his response to correctly answering a prompt about Shakespeare’s The Winter’s Tale: he exaggeratedly smacks his lips like he just answered the first sports question at bar trivia, which is appropriate since on this episode of Jeopardy Tom made the bulk of his money on a category about reigning NBA MVP Stephen Curry.

Because of course he did.

How did Tom end up?  He lost.  Last place with a takehome of $1000.  Enjoy that paltry sum Tom, for your 15 minutes have begun in earnest!

Monday, October 26, 2015

Happy 15th Birthday PlayStation 2

After its debut in Japan, Sony’s PlayStation 2 arrived in North America on October 26, 2000. Its launch roster featured over 20 names—games like Volition’s Summoner, Rockstar’s Midnight Club, or Eidos’ TimeSplitters. Happy 15th to all of them.

SEEEGAAA....Whoops! I mean PLAYSTATION...2...

The PlayStation 2 went on in the following years to sell over 150 million units, making it one of the most successful video game consoles of all time.  It also helped to launch groundbreaking new games like Devil May Cry, Metal Gear Solid 2, and Grand Theft Auto III. Three games that are remembered as much for their technical prowess, as they are for their universal critical acclaim.

In other words, this thing had the games, and people wanted it.  People like me.  

I'll never forget the day that my mother out of nowhere suggested that because my brother and I had been doing so well at school and home, she would flat out buy us a new Playstation 2. It blew our 15 and 10 year old minds.  We came home with SSX and Grand Turismo 3 and never looked back.

Happy birthday PS2, thanks for the memories, and all the wonderful games.

Here Is How People Actually Fought With Swords In One Documentary

From Gladiator to Braveheart, most historical fiction about fighting with swords is kinda wrong, influenced more by performance art than how people actually fought each other with blades. Back to the Source, a documentary about Historical European Martial Arts (HEMA), is looking to show people how it was actually done.

Check it out:

You may have seen news about this when it was a Kickstarter, but the documentary is now complete and ready for viewing on YouTube. Or right above.

Put together by Cédric Hauteville, it’s a fascinating exploration of the HEMA scene, which is right inside my wheelhouse, being as it is a combination of both sports and active historic research. Seriously, these guys are thirsty for knowledge, and are continuously going through old texts looking for any new insight into the way Europeans used to try and kill each other. But what’s so cool about this is that any stuff they find isn’t just being put into a new book, like so much other history: it’s being put into practice.

Sunday, October 25, 2015

FUNDAY: Drake Dance Like Nobody's Watching

In your life, you are going to have some trials, at least a little bit of tribulation.  It's just inevitable, nobody lives a life of pure happiness.  Some would argue that you even need those moments of sadness to make the enjoyable times feel much better.  But one thing is for sure, in a life worth living, you need to have fun, people.

You need to get out there, do what you want, make your moves, enjoy your hobbies.  Think about all those stupid placards your mother hangs around her house.  Those "Live, Laugh, Love" cliches, are awful but true.  You need to live, laugh, love, and remember to "dance like nobody's watching," or if you will take a millennial spin on things always remember to "Drake dance like nobody's watching, especially when they are by the millions."

You might even become an Internet meme!

Guaranteed, if you bust these moves in public with some frequency, you will probably have a pretty good life.



I am convinced that the key to nirvana, and total life happiness lies in the act of repeated viewings of this music video.  I am already up to a few hundred, so come on and catch up.


I will continue to tell you, this young man is one song away from your radio station.  He is gonna be the next big thing.

Project Pat

Looking forward to the days when Project Pat, while simultaneously enjoying his long life, continues to put out straight bangers well into his 80's.  I will hopefully be entering into my nursing home blasting some Tennessee trap out of my boombox on top of my wheelchair.

Justin Bieber

All Bieber ever needed to slide back into everyone's hearts was to make a great album.  He is well onto his way to making something that will transition him from that adolescent scumbag to your new generation Timberlake.


When I die, bury me inside a Madlib beat.

Merchandise f/Dum Dum Girls

Spooky Halloween songs just in time!


Get on out there and become the subject of various funny memes you crazy kids!  See you next week.

Friday, October 23, 2015

Marvel and Neflix Are Back Together With Jessica Jones

Here’s our most in-depth look yet at the next Marvel Comics superhero show from Netflix. Watching it, you can see Jessica Jones that has been through hell. And it looks like creepy villain Killgrave is going to send her right back.

I never approved this giant picture of my face!

In true noir detective style, the two-minute clip is narrated in the first person, with snippets of a conversation between the title character and Luke Cage. You don’t see much of David Tennant’s take on Killgrave/The Purple Man but you feel the menace and trauma left in his wake. This trailer makes it seem like the series—which debuts on November 20—will be presenting a wounded but tough heroine operating on the fringes of the Marvel Universe, just like the Aliascomic-book series where she sprang form.

Check it out:

Marvel is moving full speed ahead with their partnership with the streaming giant, and after the success of Daredevil, they look to be continuing the trend with this new entry.  Comics y'all, they are everywhere.

Thursday, October 22, 2015

New Deus Ex Trailer Is All Dour Fighting Robot People

Deus Ex: Mankind Divided is the kind of sci-fi I can really get behind.  Well, I can get behind most sci-fi, but especially am in when it takes place in some sort of urban dystopia.  To be clear, the world introduced in 2012's Deus Ex: Human Revolution is just that.  It is a world where augmented humans find themselves persecuted, and you as an unwilling cyborg protagonist are caught up in the struggle.

It's dour, it's dirty, and it's back again in this sequel where no matter how things shake out, somebody is getting wrecked by some weapons grade robotic bionic weaponry. 

Adam Jensen is an augmented operative chasing the threads of a worldwide conspiracy. People may hate augmentations, but this latest trailer for the November 23 game shows that they can be pretty useful.

The trailer not only touches on how people with augmentations are shunned in the world, but how Jensen is seen by his own counter-terrorism unit. Plus, you can get a look at his Titan shield, the nanoblade, and a new gun-arm augmentation – The Tesla. The first (reboot) game in this new series was a particular delight, and the sequel looks like it is shaping up to be something cool.

Check it out:

Robot arms.

Cupcake Bandit Strike Michigan

I dunno, this burglar...this might be my favorite burglar of all time.

A Michigan homeowner called police Sunday night to report a breaking and entering. The homeowner reportedly heard a commotion in the house and discovered a strange woman wrecking up the place. The woman quickly fled upon being spotted.

No mention is made in the MLive report of anything being stolen from the home, but a tray of cupcakes was knocked over and several other items had been broken.

There's your first mistake.  You eat those cupcakes first thing.

Police had a pretty easy time finding the cupcake bandit:

Alpena Police and Michigan State Police troopers began looking in the area for the woman. State police spotted her a few blocks from where the break-in occurred. 
She was described as “highly intoxicated and had cupcake frosting and cake all over her torso and legs,” a police report said.

Don’t mind me, just, uhh, bathing in frosted confections over here.

The woman has been charged with unlawful entry and malicious destruction of property, suggesting she destroyed the cupcakes on purpose. Who the hell does something like that? I’d say there’s a pretty solid insanity defense, here. Or just a cool person right there.

Wednesday, October 21, 2015

YouTube Is Getting Paid Subscriptions

Today, YouTube announced a premium subscription service that will allow users to pay a fee—$10/month—to watch videos without ads.  A sentence that everyone who reads will laugh, continue to use their AdBlock software, and carry on with their lives exactly the same.

Remember, it is YouTube Red, not Red Tube...that's...something else...

They’ve titled it YouTube Red—which may remind people of a certain not-safe-for-work website with a similar name—and they say the service will launch this month across the United States. 

In addition to stripping out ads, the service will also let you save videos to play offline on your phone. YouTube also says they plan to launch a series of shows that are exclusive to this service, featuring the likes of PewDiePie and other big video stars. (More info here.)

Does it sound like HD audio, or Tidal?  Or Apple Music? Um....

Japan Celebrates Back To The Future Day Right

One more reason to take a trip to the most magical place in the world. Japan.  They have Back To The Future cafes.  As in plural. More than one.

Great Scott! This is cool!

Today is October 21, 2015. You know, BACK TO THE FUTURE DAY. And to mark the franchise’s thirtieth anniversary, five (count ‘em, five!) Back to the Future pop-up cafes have opened in Japan. They’re only for a limited time, but have BTTF themed food, drinks, and deserts.

No better way to celebrate the day that millions of fans of a beloved series have been waiting for on the Internet for so long.

 If the posters and memorabilia don’t do it, the movie’s soundtrack is constantly playing to ensure diners get in the mood.

The guy in the top image carrying the Hoverboard is TV personality and film critic Kon Arimura. He loves Back to the Future! (Check out his Twitter page and see what I mean.)

According to Cinema Today and Ameba, the cafe locations are Trattoria Paradiso in Tokyo as well as Sweets Paradise restaurants in Chiba, Osaka, Hyogo, and Okayama.

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Is Drake Self-aware?

Last night Drake dropped *DJ Khaled voice* "another one" on us. That's right, the biggest musician in the world hit us with the video to his now estimated 1034th massive hit "Hotline Bling." Which if you have not seen go ahead and scroll down and watch right now. It is something else.   And now, like the Internet do, it is time to ask some questions.

Like mainly: Does Drake know what he is doing?

(I mean, he knows he is dancing but does he know what kind of dancing he is doing?)

Or more plainly: Is Drake self-aware?

Let's ponder together.

Self-aware or not, Drizzy just helped many people find a clever Halloween costume idea.

Here's the thing about Drizzy Drake, and it is a truth that has had merit ever since he got up out of that wheelchair on Degrassi and sang/rapped his way into our hearts and souls around 7 years ago. Drake is pretty much the living embodiment of the classic Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle Commando

 He’s so over-the-top, so ridiculously dorky that he has to realize what he’s doing. And yet, self-awareness is a rare commodity—even when your self is a commodity—that it’s impossible to say for sure where intention rules and uncontrollable, ridiculous-looking expression supersedes. The great thing about Commando isn’t that it’s so bad it’s good, it’s that it’s so outrageous it’s practically unbelievable and yet it still exists. So is Drake at his most entertaining.

And so it was a particular delight when the video for his smash “Hotline Bling” dropped last night and featured the rapper-singer bopping with such dopey abandon that countless people on Twitter compared his dancing to that of The Fresh Prince of Bel Air’s Carlton. A knee-jerk reaction that is not without merit, and also happens to be hilarious

So, is Drake a dork?  Does he realize that no matter how cool the white floating stairs room is that you still look like a dork if you are dancing like my 6-year-old brother did at a family wedding 19 years ago?  Or is he in on the joke?

Gawker's Rich Juzwiak puts it perfectly for us all:

In the absence of a music journalist with access to him and the courage to ask him about this, we may never have a definitive answer. I don’t want one, either. I would much rather luxuriate in these margins of dubious intention and watch the spirited conversations they inspire. How refreshing it is to not be spoon-fed by mainstream culture, to have someone who repeatedly (dating back at least to his “Best I Ever Had” video with its artificial set and Drake’s wild gesticulation) sparks the internal debate of “What exactly am I looking at?” just by showing up. In a low-key way that is divorced from its queer context, Drake brings to the fold a sensibility that resembles camp insofar as the multiple levels it seems to exist on and the ensuing untangling he provokes his audience to engage in.

Feel free to watch the video 100 more times and form your own opinion.

Is Drake a dork?  Yes.  Is he totally in on being a dork?

Does it matter? Especially when he continues to make music like this wonderful joyous earwig?  Not one bit.

Monday, October 19, 2015

Star Wars Video Game Trailer Will Crush You With Nostalgia

We are ending the month of October, and this particular October that signifies one thing: we are on the precipice, beginning the deep dive into Star Wars Season. Star Wars Season, that time of a year that may only come once or twice (if you're lucky) in a lifetime.

The season that we can all come together, and feel the wonder that we had as children one more time.
So it's only fitting that to begin this wonderful time of the year, an advertisement comes along that can truly make you feel like a child, by absolutely crushing you with nostalgia...

Star Wars: Battlefront is a revival to a beloved series of games that is set to herald the Star Wars Season on November 17th.  One month and one day later we will all be allowed to see this:

Didn't think I would forget about the new trailer did you?  I need to go lie down.

Say Happy 30th Birthday To The Nintendo Entertainment System

On October 18, 1985 Nintendo of America took a huge gamble, releasing a console into a North American market that seemed to have washed its hands of video games completely. Thirty years later those hands are filthier than ever.

And millions of men and women around the world wouldn't have it any other way.

30 years old and still looking so handsome!

While Nintendo’s Family Computer (Famicom) system enjoyed massive success in Japan following its 1983 launch, getting a video game system launched in North America following the video game crash that same year was proving nigh impossible. Nintendo of America president (and husand to the daughter of Nintendo president Hiroshi Yamauch) Minoru Arakawa spent a couple of years looking for buyers or partners for distributing the new console but came up empty.

But company leadership refused to let Arakawa throw in the towel. Instead they sent an initial shipment of 100,000 Nintendo Entertainment Systems to the U.S. and had Arakawa and his team hold a limited launch event in the country’s toughest market—New York City.

It was definitely tough. Retailers didn’t want to sell the things—didn’t think they could, even with the cool light gun and silly robot setting it apart from previous game consoles. It was only due to a desperate deal by Nintendo that the systems showed up in stores at all. The company allowed retailers to stock the units for free, only paying for the units that sold.  They couldn't even call it a video game console, words that had become tainted in America, so had to opt instead with the name "Family Computer."

Between the official launch date through the holiday season the console sold...well enough. Reports put the holiday 1985 sales numbers between 50,000 and 90,000 units—enough that the test markets would expand to other cities in early 1986, leading to a country-wide release later that year.

The entire story of what was basically a Japanese invasion and resurrection of a dead market is told comprehensively in David Sheff’s outstanding book “Game Over: How Nintendo Conquered the World,” required reading for anyone serious about video game history.

Long story short, the U.S. said “No thanks,” Nintendo said, “No, we insist,” and the rest is legend.

And here we are, 30 years later, enjoying the fruits of Nintendo’s insistence more than ever before.

On behalf of one of the first generations who completely grew up with video games, and fell in love, I say to you Nintendo: Thanks.

Let's all go bust out our NES's and fire up some Mario 3.  It's the least we can do.

Sunday, October 18, 2015

FUNDAY: Just So Tired of (Waiting For) All These Star Wars




It's happening folks...


You enjoy your Funday.  I am gonna just alternate staring at this poster and my calendar for the next few days.

I don't even care that even movie posters can spoil movies for you now.  (Thanks Star Wars, but I didn't know that John Boyega was gonna be a Jedi, but now I do.) This thing is fucking sick.

Also, if you got my joke in the title, you are real cool to me.


Please music.  I am begging you.  Please bring back Britpop in a big way.  Or even just in a little way.  One adult who discovered music in the early 90's beseeches you to do so.


Scandinavian punk band never sounds like a bad idea.

The Big Moon

All female British garage band.  That combination of words, much like those of the previous entry above, excite me in all my tender places.  

Nick Jonas

So now we have had Nick Jonas doing a Justin Timberlake, Miguel, Weeknd, and now he is doing his best Future?!  And it is actually more than okay?!  What a time to be alive.


So many indie rock videos resort to the same tired-ass tricks: Stock-footage montages, blurry deep-woods photography, drawn-out breakup stories. Meanwhile, Columbus punk Zac Little put some thought into making something that people might actually want towatch and so he gives us masked wildmen firing Roman candles out of SUV windows. That’ll do!


See you in the Stars.  And by that I mean the movie theaters very soon.  Also, see you next week.

Friday, October 16, 2015

Relax With Some Jet Videos Featuring Cool Clouds

We’re all familiar with the clouds that follow behind airplanes when warm jet exhaust meets the cold upper atmosphere, but if you’re lucky enough to find yourself near an airport on a humid day, you can experience a cloudy, visual treat that never fails to dazzle.

A couple of days ago, YouTube user flugsnug uploaded an incredible videoshowing an Emirates Boeing 777 landing and taking off on a gray, drizzly day. The bursts of clouds that follow the aircraft on approach and departure are phenomenal, with spectacular explosions of condensation forming above the wing and behind the flaps, as well as long streamers of moisture that extend off the wingtips of the jet. The wake that follows the aircraft spins existing clouds into intricate swirling patterns that radiate from the flight’s path.

If you have a seat overlooking the wing, it’s pretty common to see sudden bursts of condensation out your window as the aircraft ascends through a deck of clouds. The process that generates these clouds is the same one that allows the plane to fly in the first place.

So kick back, relax, and watch some jets deserve it.

Thursday, October 15, 2015

Preacher TV Show Will Differ From Comics Because It Pretty Much Has To

For many comic book fans (like me), one of the most hotly anticipated shows of 2016 is Preacher. After years of development, the critically acclaimed, super surreal, ultra-violent comic is finally being adapted for AMC, produced by none other than Seth Rogen and his regular filmmaking partner Evan Goldberg. A duo who aside from being great comic writers, also happen to themselves be huge comic, and Preacher fans.

Now Rogen has spoken about what fans can expect from the show, and how it will differ from the books. It's exciting stuff people, and it is really happening!

I would bet they are gonna have to tone down the violence...a bit...

Rogen was asked about progress on Preacher during an interview for Crave Online to promote his latest film, Steve Jobs. "It's coming along great," he said. "The writers are in Los Angeles in a big room, writing away, trying to plan the series. We're trying to plan the whole season before we start shooting and writing it. So our hope is to start filming in February and I think we'll start airing sometime next summer, basically."

Rogen was also asked about how the story was being broken down, and whether each episode would represent one issue of the comic. "No, we are changing the specifics of how the narrative is unfolding," he explained. "A lot of the building blocks we are not changing, a lot of characters we're keeping, but we want to make a show that if you're a fan of the comic, you don't know what to expect."

"There's some things that even Garth [Ennis, co-creator of the comic book] will argue, is quick to admit that we probably should not even attempt to put on television. There's some characters, we're talking about maybe we combine these two into one person. 
"But to us the tangential element is one of our favorite things. The fact that it does go off into these other worlds and explore these other characters, I mean that's something that we wholeheartedly intend on indulging in because it's one of the best parts about the comic. Just the massive tapestry of f**king weirdos."

Preacher was created by Ennis and Steve Dillon, and first published in 1995 by the DC imprint Vertigo to huge acclaim. It tells the story of a smalltown preacher who is possessed by a supernatural creature and controlled by opposing forces of both good and evil. Captain America star Dominic Cooper will take on the role in the new series

High School Cannot Even Fathom Rap Concert

Some high school administrators in California are so uncomfortable with the very idea of rap music that they’re willing to turn down a whole lot of money over it. The Orange County Register reports that Aliso Niguel High School turned down a visit from Mackemore and Ryan Lewis, as well as a $10,000 grant for its music department.

Now if you are hoping that the students somehow shut this down because they would rather be without funding than forced to sit through a Macklemore concert, then you, like me, are about to be let down big time.

The school had won a contest that required students to register on the textbook sales and rental website Chegg, but Principal Deni Christensen opted to turn down the prize because, per the newspaper, “some parents said that Macklemore and Ryan Lewis support alcohol and drug use and misogyny in their music.”

Umm...have they ever heard Macklemore.  It's like white mom rap.

You would be hard-pressed to find a rap group less apt to support alcohol, drugs, or misogyny, but that’s high school administrators for you. Predictably, many students and parents are outraged, and a petition asking the school to change its decision has already received thousands of signatures. If the school had simply cited “Macklemore suuuuuucks” as its reason, it would’ve had more of a leg to stand on.

UPDATE: Noisey points out The Orange County Register’s report that Macklemore’s appearance at the school is back on in response to student protest. The school will accept the $10,000 grant. A compromise was struck: The kids just have to bring a signed permission slip to attend.

Wednesday, October 14, 2015

What If Mad Max: Fury Road Was a 90's Arcade Game

Besides a 1990 NES game and Outlander, there wasn’t really a Mad Max video game back in the day that was just as good as the first three movies. If anything, the second movie’s plot had potential for a super arcade game.

But now, in the way that only the Internet can provide, we can imagine "what if..." with a super cool imagining of just what might have been...

Of course, it would look sweet.

A fast run-and-gun style side-scroller, just like Konami’s classic Sunset Riders, or even something like the Metal Slug series with a Mad Max setting would have been amazing. CineFix’s latest video imagined a game like that, and how it’d look:

Well, add this to the list of these that they have done that make me ache for the fact that there is nothing like this available right now.

Come to think of it, with the sheer amount of throwback indie 2D sidescrollers that are released on a daily basis these days (accurate estimate: 100 billion per hour) it is surprising that at least one or two hasn't been inspired by one of the coolest, most iconic action series of all time.

Guess it's just hard for anyone but George Miller to come up with awesome post-apocalyptic gasoline death machines.  

Tuesday, October 13, 2015

No More Nudes For Dudes Says Playboy

Bad news dudes with 'tudes, no more nudes.

Beginning in March, the New York Times reports, Playboy will no longer publish photographs of fully nude women, which, despite this post’s headline, is not really “bad news,” for “dudes” (or anyone), because the internet is more or less composed of photographs of fully nude women—to say nothing of the fact that many dudes may not find such nudes especially titillating for any number of reasons, and that there are probably some women who might be sorry to hear about this, too. Haha. Anyway!

Game over.

According to the Times, the magazine’s best-selling issue, in November 1972, sold more than seven million copies. And now?
Playboy’s circulation has dropped from 5.6 million in 1975 to about 800,000 now, according to the Alliance for Audited Media. Many of the magazines that followed it have disappeared. Though detailed figures are not kept for adult magazines, many of those that remain exist in severely diminished form, available mostly in specialist stores. Penthouse, perhaps the most famous Playboy competitor, responded to the threat from digital pornography by turning even more explicit. It never recovered.
Previous efforts to revamp Playboy, as recently as three years ago, have never quite stuck. And those who have accused it of exploiting women are unlikely to be assuaged by a modest cover-up. But, according to its own research, Playboy’s logo is one of the most recognizable in the world, along with those of Apple and Nike.
The change was suggested last month by Cory Jones, an editor at the magazine, to its founder, Hugh Hefner. Apparently Playboy stopped publishing nudes on its website in August of last year. Who knew!
This shift is part of a larger effort by CEO Scott Flanders, the first chief executive from outside the Hefner family, who was brought in after Playboy Enterprises went private in 2011. In two years, Flanders fired over 400 people, shrinking the company’s staff from 585 to 165.
In 2013, the Wall Street Journal reported that Flanders may have gotten a bit overexcited at one of the first parties thrown after he came aboard:
Mr. Flanders allegedly didn’t observe the expected boundaries between a CEO and female employees, according to some current and former employees, who said he was hitting on Playmates and other young women. (Despite its freewheeling reputation, the company had what many former employees describe as a “zero tolerance policy” barring unwanted advances.)

Afterward, a female employee filed a complaint with the company’s human-resources department about alleged comments made by Mr. Flanders. Playboy’s board investigated, and Mr. Flanders underwent sensitivity training, according to people familiar with the matter.

Mr. Flanders confirmed that he underwent the sensitivity training but labeled “absurd” the allegation that he was hitting on Playmates.
Hmm, well—surely it was all just a misunderstanding. Regardless, one wonders who the readership for this brave new Playboy might be. From the Times:
The target audience, Mr. Flanders said, is young men who live in cities. “The difference between us and Vice,” he said, “is that we’re going after the guy with a job.”
Sick burn. But also: “young men who live in cities.” Some people really do have a type!

Monday, October 12, 2015

Only John Oliver Can Make North Dakota Mad

North Dakota: home to a dangerous, loosely-policed oil industry that the state government attracted by being so darn friendly (to businesses). Taxes are low and regulation is “reasonable” (basically nonexistent)—what a state.

In the latest previous week last night, John Oliver went over the repeated spills and explosions in the state that’s second only to Texas in oil production, and how shockingly little it cost the companies responsible. Letting them settle for just 10 percent of an already absurdly low fine does seem pretty dang friendly, but that’s the North Dakota way.

John Oliver entreats North Dakotans to “get angry,” after seeing this episode. If they don’t, everyone else will.

First R-Rated Batman Film Incoming (Maybe)

So as was revealed back during San Diego Comic Con, Batman: The Killing Jokeis making its way to the animated world of the DC Universe. Better yet, the most iconic Joker performer of all time, Mark Hamill, will return to voice the character. It’s an exciting project, and one that’s fairly controversial given the story’s subject matter.

A story, written by Alan Moore, that features the Joker trying to prove his point: That given enough of a push, you can drive anyone insane.  This includes James Gordon, who happens to be the target of the Joker, and things get serious from there...

"Adult" doesn't begin to describe things.

That's right, The Killing Joke has been approved for an R-rating, meaning all of the Joker’s torturous acts can move forward on screen without concern for censorship, if producer James Tucker and the creative wants to go that route.

As reported, this would likely be the first R-rated Batman film and likely the most intense to this point. But it doesn’t need to be. The prospect of a mature Batman story isn’t really a novelty today. We’ve gotten the gritty, realistic Nolan trilogy, and we’ve also seen Batman goes up against a batch of nightmares in the Arkham series (full of murders and essentially as much dark subject matter as The Killing Joke). Even the animated version of The Caped Crusader has a mature story or two if you count Mask Of The Phantasm and Return Of The Joker.

The real news here is that DC and Warner Bros. aren’t shying away from the nastier bits of the story. There’s nothing holding them back.

Sunday, October 11, 2015

FUNDAY: We Need A Hero

Alright everybody.  This Funday we wanted to do something different.  We wanted to show you that after all these entries, all these Fundays past, we are still here for you.  We are gonna keep being here for your beginning to your work week, to help start you off right.  To tackle these next seven days the right way.

You could even say, that we would gladly be your hero...

I have no idea if I have made that joke before or not.  What I am saying here is that I have done a bunch of these.


Lil Nardy

Nardy is from Mobile, Alabama, and that’s really all I know about him. But as long as he’s making tense, grizzled, cathartic Southern underground rap like this, I don’t really need to know any more.

Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney

Well, cannot say I expected this.  That said, it seems very unfair that I cannot jump into and live inside this video


Making a DIY music video that has the same look and feel of early MTV era stuff is not easy to do.  When you can pull it off, it's always gonna be special.  This one does it.  Big time.  Hats off.  Way, way off.

Will Butler

Emma Stone has been nominated for Oscars before.  Without discounting any of her past work, she is better in this than anything else she has ever done.

Meow The Jewels

Scientists of the world: Take this as a warning. Please do not genetically engineer any giant cats with death-ray eyebeams. Because they will absolutely do all of this. Also, the best rap group going right now just remade their entire first classic album with only cat sounds for beats.  It's 2015 and a wonderful time to be alive.


Now get on out there and just do what Johnny 5 would do, you'll be fine.

Saturday, October 10, 2015

Your Must-Have Halloween Spooky Machine Is Here

It's about Halloween right?  And you need something new and exciting to spook all those house guests you'll be having for your various costume/naughty costume parties right?  

Well here is what you do:  Go into your kitchen.  Pick up your refrigerator (it's cool, you have been doing Cross Fit, you can handle it.) Throw that shit right out the window.   Because you need a new fridge.  A spooky one.

Bonus Feature: Will probably also help you lose weight!

Replace the fridge at home with Roy Mueller’s zombie containment unit and you’ll scare off pretty much everyone.

It’s a nice combination of various effects and it really looks like an actual zombie’s trying to escape from its chamber.

So get one.  Spook some folk already!

Friday, October 9, 2015

Bridge Collapse Video Proves That All Your Nightmares Are Real

Fair warning: this is possibly the worst video in the world for those with a fear of heights who also have to cross a bridge at any time in the future.

A group of French tourists on the Lake Waikaremoana Great Walk put a little too much weight on a flimsy suspension bridge in New Zealand last month, proving that nightmares are real and they can happen on any bridge at any time. After being catapulted off the bridge, the hikers fell nearly 30 feet into the ravine below. No one was hurt, but that doesn’t make the video less stressful.

You have been warned:

Yep. Never leaving my home again.

According to the New Zealand Herald, who will forever now also be known as the place who puts things the most light, a cord holding the bridge “released” to cause the incident. The country’s Department of Conservation has launched an investigation, and will likely punish the bridge if any fault is found.

Thursday, October 8, 2015

Of Course China Has The World's Worst Traffic Jams

A nation of over 4 billion people is here in the news today to remind you, that no matter how much you may stress over your morning/evening commute, it could always be worse.  How much worse?

This much worse:

Ah, another cool aerial view of the Toyota plant parking lot.  Wait, this is a freeway? Oh boy...

Welcome to China, where the jam in "traffic jam" refers to the overwhelming urge you will get to jam a sharp metal object directly into your brain after realizing the utterly hopeless car situation you have found yourself in.

Hell. Pain. Agony. Anger. Madness. To the point where you just start punching your steering wheel and try to rip off your car’s roof and scream until your forehead and neck veins burst and then cry like a crazy person. That’s what it must feel like going through this insane traffic jam just outside of Beijing, China. A checkpoint on the other side of the toll booth caused this ridiculousness to happen.

Watch how horrible it was in the video below. This is what the end of the world looks like.

First thought, this makes my eye twitch just looking at it.  Second thought, hey USA, can we get some 45 lane highways up in this piece? 

James Bond Doesn't Give A Fuck About The Next James Bond

There has been a lot of discussion lately about which actor might take over for Daniel Craig after he's done playing the British super-spy James Bond. But Craig himself doesn't seem interested in that debate, to say the very least.

"Look, I don't give a f**k," Craig told London's TimeOut as part of the Spectre press tour when asked if he cared who plays Bond after he stops. "Good luck to them! All I care about is that if I stop doing these things we've left it in a good place and people pick it up and make it better. Make it better, that's all."
Also in the interview, which is a fascinating, expletive-laced read, Craig says he would rather kill himself than jump back into making another Bond movie right away. He's not saying he wants to retire just yet, only that at this very moment he would rather take some time away before possibly coming back.
Asked if he could imagine doing another Bond movie, Craig said, "Now? I'd rather break this glass and slash my wrists. No, not at the moment. Not at all. That's fine. I'm over it at the moment. We're done [filming Spectre]. All I want to do is move on."
Pressed to confirm if he wants to move on "for good" or just for now, Craig said if he does return for another film, something he's said before he'd like to do, "it would only be for the money."
"I haven't given it any thought," he explained. "For at least a year or two, I just don't want to think about it. I don't know what the next step is. I've no idea. Not because I'm trying to be cagey. Who the f**k knows? At the moment, we've done it. I'm not in discussion with anybody about anything. If I did another Bond movie, it would only be for the money."
Hey, it's an actor being honest everyone.  Take note!

The full TimeOut interview features a lot of interesting insight into Spectre, the filming process, why he thinks the Internet is evil for famous people, and a lot more.
Spectre opens in theaters on October 26 in the UK, followed by a release in the US on November 6, and it looks rad.

Somebody get Idris Elba on the phone.

Wednesday, October 7, 2015

Will Smith Has Never Met Jared Leto

Ever since it was announced that Jared Leto would be playing The Joker in DC's forthcoming supervillain team-up Suicide Squad, there has been much speculation about what the actor would bring to this iconic role. Now co-star Will Smith has spoken about the unusual experience of working with him.

And in another great "Actors Saying Ridiculous Bullshit That Regular People Think Is Stupid" moment, we have something special here.

Even more special than those sweet grillz.

In an interview with the Beats One radio show (via Complex), Smith reveals that Leto remained entirely in character throughout the film's production, refusing to speak to his fellow cast members except as the Joker.

"I've never actually met Jared Leto," said Smith. "We worked together for six months and we've never exchanged a word outside of 'Action!' and 'Cut!' I literally have not met him yet. So, the first time I see him will be 'Hey, Jared. What's up?' He was all in on the Joker."
By now you should have rolled your eyes so hard they almost shot out of your head.  Just in case you may have missed that moment, here is your second chance.

Go ahead.  Reread that quote.

Here's the thing with this one.  Either way if this is true, somebody here is an asshole.  Either Jared Leto really did laugh like an idiot, and wear fake metal grillz for six months while he was at the craft services table. OR, Will Smith is embellishing this whole filming experience and thus is the asshole for said embellishment.

You guys are famous actors.  You get paid millions of dollars to pretend to be other people, for a little while.  Your job is already ridiculous.  You don't need to say these types of things, let alone actually act like this outside of a movie scene.

Smith plays Deadshot in the movie, which is directed by Fury's David Ayer. It tells the story of a group of death row supervillains, who are employed covertly by the US government to perform dangerous missions, in return for reduced prison sentences. Margot Robbie also features as Harley Quinn, with Joel Kinnaman as Rick Flag, and Jai Courtney playing Boomerang.

No word on if any of these cast members have ever met Will Smith either.

Also this week, comic book writer Grant Morrison revealed to Gamesradar that Leto had approached him for advice on playing the Joker. "He called me to talk about his approach to the character and I steered him in a few directions," said Morrisson. "I'm keen to see if anything other than slicked back hair and the Marilyn Manson vibe made it into his performance."

We get it Leto, you are trying hard.  Very hard to play a dude that is "The Clown Prince of Crime" and shoots people with an acid filled fake flower gag.  It's not exactly rocket science.

Suicide Squad is due for release on August 5, 2016.

Ants Build Raft Out Of Their Comrades To Sail Away

It’s a tale old as time: the elite climb atop the backs of the workers, trampling those in their way to survive.

A fire ant colony that was swept along in the floods in South Carolina used the bodies of underlings to form a giant raft and float along the water to a new land.

According to local Fox Carolina News, flotillas of ants have been spotted in nearby areas in the past few days.

In 2011, National Geographic reported that fire ant floats weren’t an uncommon sight, relatively. Said Georgia Institute of Technology graduate student David J. Mlot:
“They’ll gather up all the eggs in the colony and will make their way up through the underground network of tunnels, and when the flood waters rise above the ground, they’ll link up together in these massive rafts.”

Buoyed by the bodies of the fallen, the tiny insects will sail to a new land and settle a new colony, renegade ants in a brave new world. Ants are smart y'all.  I hope they never grow to giant size.

Tuesday, October 6, 2015

There Are Japanese Selfie Vending Machines Now

But is it really a selfie if you cannot hold the vending machine in your hand? Maybe you can!

Oh boy.

IT Media reports that Kirin Beverage is rolling out a “selfie” (自撮り or jidori) vending machine in Japan. A collaboration with the popular social network Line, the vending machine has a large LCD display and is outfitted with a camera.

According to Sankei News, buy a drink and take a pic, free of charge. These “vendor photos” offer Line users special frames and backgrounds. Even if the Japanese media says these photos are “selfies,” the set-up seems closer to a sticker picture booth.

Starting this month, these vending machines will begin spreading across Japan. The vending machines will even have English, Chinese, and Korean language options.

*sigh* Go ahead and bring these to America. *sigh* There's millions to be made.

Just Look At This Super Nintendo Book

It’s a good time to be alive if you like books about consoles from the 90s. Sega fans got an amazing Genesis/Mega Drive coffee table book last year (which you should go buy right now), and now SNES fans are getting one, albeit with a slightly different approach.

Stuart Brett, curator of the wonderful Super Famicom Guy Instagram account, has completed a book that chronicles his collection of Super Famicom games.  Games that are so cool, even just looking at the box art is enjoyable.  Especially in super clear photographs on high quality paper.

This is the good stuff.

Called Super Famicom: The Box Art Collection (after the awesome Japanese name for the SNES), and being published by Bitmap Books, the hardcover book features box shots of “around 250 titles, including many rare examples and some that have never before been documented in print.”

It's yet another entry in the field of passionate people really trying to preserve video games in a way that sadly, until recently not too many people have thought/cared about.  This stuff is too cool to lose, and it's great that there are finally people out there documenting the history of my favorite pastime.
Oh yeah.

If there is one thing that is a shame about this collection it is that sadly, it’s not due out until next year.  However, you can keep up to date on how it’s going here.  And the wait will give you enough time to buy a new coffee table to showcase your sweet sweet video games books.

Monday, October 5, 2015

Minecraft Player Live Streams His Accidental House Fire

Japanese streamer Daasuke took a break from playing Minecraft to show off his new oil-match lighter. That’s when things got bad. Real bad.

Daasuke admitted that he wasn’t sure how to use the lighter. First, he filled it up with lighter fluid, and then he ended up accidentally setting his room on fire.

In the YouTube video below, you can see how thing escalate. The flames start at around 4:45.

Oh boy.

As website Hachima points out, the streamer has set his Twitter account to private.

According to one news report (below), the house’s second floor caught fire. The 40 year-old live streamer as well as his 73-year-old mother, 68 year-old father, and a 62 year-old relative sustained injuries. Let's all really hope that they were not serious.

Video Games Hit The Late Show In A Big Way

Sean Murray, co-founder of No Man's Sky developer Hello Games, appeared Friday night on The Late Show With Stephen Colbert to talk about and play the upcoming PlayStation 4 andPC game. Colbert starts off by asking for a release date, but Murray doesn't budge. They then launch into a discussion about the size and scope of No Man's Sky, about which Colbert jokes, "Do you have any worries that the game might get boring after visiting the first trillion planets?"

Check out the full, eight-minute video below.

In No Man's Sky, if you're the first to encounter a creature on any of its planets, you can choose its name. This yields some excellent, Colbert-inspired names in this video, including "Colbertasauras" and "Molebert." Murray even names an entire solar system after the late night host and comedian.

Colbert also cracks a joke about Murray taking over the role of God from actor Morgan Freeman, another guest during the show. Freeman played God in Bruce Almighty, while Murray is doing the same, kind of, in his role as director of No Man's Sky. Colbert, as many others who have seen this game in action, was wowed at the scope of what Hello Games is trying to accomplish.  A scale and level of detail that has never been seen before in interactive media.

This thing could really be something, if it ever happens to come out.  Until more news, keep your eyes on the skies!

Sunday, October 4, 2015

FUNDAY: Every Little Thing Will Be Alright

America, we have had a rough week.  So here, we all need this:

I feel the same way pal, except way less fluffy.

Just remember, Bob Marley said it so it's true.  Everything, even the little stuff, will eventually be alright.



Erick Sermon f/Redman & Method Man

Yes. Yes!  Yessss!  YESSSSS! YEEEEESSSSS!  Three New York LEGENDS doing their thing over the most smooth old school NYC style production.  This is the kind of stuff that never fails to put a smile on my face.  I mean Sermon is talking about cooking and doing homework with his children, and Meth is dropping mad Biggie metaphors. Redman shitting on your flip-flops you are wearing. Just so joyous.


Mark my words Internet.  He is coming.  He is coming for the big times.

Jamie xx f/ Young Thug & Popcaan 

The world's most unlikely, but perfect team-up song now has a video.  Is it too late for another song of the summer?


Your honor, for the record I would like to submit exhibit 15,388.  Sonic proof that Migos is the most fun to be had in rap music currently.  Just try to tell me that after half of this song, you aren't screaming out "Forest Whitaker!" in perfect sync. I won't believe you, because you are clearly lying to me.


Rejoice all ye who enter, because Halloween music video season is upon us all.

Disclosure ft. Lorde

As an admitted Lorde age truther, I never have been a big fan. (If she really is a teenager, then why does the guy in this video look like he's about 40?! Answer me that internet!)  However, leave it to Disclosure to work their magic and make me thoroughly on board with the Lorde.  All hail.


See you next week you fluffy babies.

Friday, October 2, 2015


This blog is almost always never political as a point of preference.  Today is the exception.  America, United States, we need to do something.

THE PRESIDENT: There’s been another mass shooting in America -- this time, in a community college in Oregon.

That means there are more American families -- moms, dads, children -- whose lives have been changed forever. That means there’s another community stunned with grief, and communities across the country forced to relieve their own anguish, and parents across the country who are scared because they know it might have been their families or their children.

I’ve been to Roseburg, Oregon. There are really good people there. I want to thank all the first responders whose bravery likely saved some lives today. Federal law enforcement has been on the scene in a supporting role, and we’ve offered to stay and help as much as Roseburg needs, for as long as they need.

In the coming days, we’ll learn about the victims -- young men and women who were studying and learning and working hard, their eyes set on the future, their dreams on what they could make of their lives. And America will wrap everyone who’s grieving with our prayers and our love.

But as I said just a few months ago, and I said a few months before that, and I said each time we see one of these mass shootings, our thoughts and prayers are not enough. It’s not enough. It does not capture the heartache and grief and anger that we should feel. And it does nothing to prevent this carnage from being inflicted someplace else in America -- next week, or a couple of months from now.

We don't yet know why this individual did what he did. And it's fair to say that anybody who does this has a sickness in their minds, regardless of what they think their motivations may be. But we are not the only country on Earth that has people with mental illnesses or want to do harm to other people. We are the only advanced country on Earth that sees these kinds of mass shootings every few months.

Earlier this year, I answered a question in an interview by saying, “The United States of America is the one advanced nation on Earth in which we do not have sufficient common-sense gun-safety laws -- even in the face of repeated mass killings.” And later that day, there was a mass shooting at a movie theater in Lafayette, Louisiana. That day! Somehow this has become routine. The reporting is routine. My response here at this podium ends up being routine. The conversation in the aftermath of it. We've become numb to this.

We talked about this after Columbine and Blacksburg, after Tucson, after Newtown, after Aurora, after Charleston. It cannot be this easy for somebody who wants to inflict harm on other people to get his or her hands on a gun.

And what’s become routine, of course, is the response of those who oppose any kind of common-sense gun legislation. Right now, I can imagine the press releases being cranked out: We need more guns, they’ll argue. Fewer gun safety laws.

Does anybody really believe that? There are scores of responsible gun owners in this country --they know that's not true. We know because of the polling that says the majority of Americans understand we should be changing these laws -- including the majority of responsible, law-abiding gun owners.

There is a gun for roughly every man, woman, and child in America. So how can you, with a straight face, make the argument that more guns will make us safer? We know that states with the most gun laws tend to have the fewest gun deaths. So the notion that gun laws don't work, or just will make it harder for law-abiding citizens and criminals will still get their guns is not borne out by the evidence.

We know that other countries, in response to one mass shooting, have been able to craft laws that almost eliminate mass shootings. Friends of ours, allies of ours -- Great Britain, Australia, countries like ours. So we know there are ways to prevent it.

And, of course, what’s also routine is that somebody, somewhere will comment and say, Obama politicized this issue. Well, this is something we should politicize. It is relevant to our common life together, to the body politic. I would ask news organizations -- because I won't put these facts forward -- have news organizations tally up the number of Americans who’ve been killed through terrorist attacks over the last decade and the number of Americans who’ve been killed by gun violence, and post those side-by-side on your news reports. This won't be information coming from me; it will be coming from you. We spend over a trillion dollars, and pass countless laws, and devote entire agencies to preventing terrorist attacks on our soil, and rightfully so. And yet, we have a Congress that explicitly blocks us from even collecting data on how we could potentially reduce gun deaths. How can that be?

This is a political choice that we make to allow this to happen every few months in America. We collectively are answerable to those families who lose their loved ones because of our inaction. When Americans are killed in mine disasters, we work to make mines safer. When Americans are killed in floods and hurricanes, we make communities safer. When roads are unsafe, we fix them to reduce auto fatalities. We have seatbelt laws because we know it saves lives. So the notion that gun violence is somehow different, that our freedom and our Constitution prohibits any modest regulation of how we use a deadly weapon, when there are law-abiding gun owners all across the country who could hunt and protect their families and do everything they do under such regulations doesn’t make sense.

So, tonight, as those of us who are lucky enough to hug our kids a little closer are thinking about the families who aren't so fortunate, I’d ask the American people to think about how they can get our government to change these laws, and to save lives, and to let young people grow up. And that will require a change of politics on this issue. And it will require that the American people, individually, whether you are a Democrat or a Republican or an independent, when you decide to vote for somebody, are making a determination as to whether this cause of continuing death for innocent people should be a relevant factor in your decision. If you think this is a problem, then you should expect your elected officials to reflect your views.

And I would particularly ask America’s gun owners -- who are using those guns properly, safely, to hunt, for sport, for protecting their families -- to think about whether your views are properly being represented by the organization that suggests it's speaking for you.

And each time this happens I'm going to bring this up. Each time this happens I am going to say that we can actually do something about it, but we're going to have to change our laws. And this is not something I can do by myself. I've got to have a Congress and I've got to have state legislatures and governors who are willing to work with me on this.

I hope and pray that I don't have to come out again during my tenure as President to offer my condolences to families in these circumstances. But based on my experience as President, I can't guarantee that. And that's terrible to say. And it can change.

May God bless the memories of those who were killed today. May He bring comfort to their families, and courage to the injured as they fight their way back. And may He give us the strength to come together and find the courage to change.

Thank you.

6:35 P.M. EDT