Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Axl And Slash Are Reuniting Quite Possibly For Real

After months of increasingly loud rumors, now the most surprising non-surprising thing is officially official: A version of Guns N’ Roses featuring Axl Rose and Slash will tour next year.

Ben and Jerry, Lucy and Desi, Tom and Jerry (lots of Jerry's here), Jerry and Neuman, and now Axl and Slash will once again be added to the pantheon of best duos around.

Or will they...

It may happen, but it will most certainly not look like this.

Billboard confirms via “multiple sources” that GNR will headline both weekends of Coachella in April followed by “as many as 25 football stadiums in North America in the summer of 2016.” GNR are also expected to be one of the first bands to play the new Las Vegas Arena, which opens 4/6. These shows would mark Rose and Slash’s first performances together since 7/17/93. Reps for the band and Coachella have not returned requests for comment, but it seems safe to get stoked. (Or not.)

This will either go two ways:

  1. It will happen and probably be cool in a nostalgic way
  2. It will almost happen, and Slash will realize how much he hates Axl still, and everything will explode into a way that only Guns N Roses feuds can.
Either way, it'll probably be cool.

Remember, Axl can't sing, Slash doesn't drink, and neither of them have done anything cool in multiple decades.  That said, this is some NEWS.


Oh yeah.

Monday, December 28, 2015

One Man Has Made The Ultimate Lego Millennium Falcon

Throughout its nearly 40 year history, Star Wars has inspired the young and old to dream and think big – galactically big. Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Lucasfilm/Disney’s latest outing, is breaking box office records and giving a new hope to fans across the globe. And Star Wars’ legions of enthusiasts show their love in many creative ways, whether via fan films, original artwork, and/or by building models (among other ways).

For years, the building block company LEGO has featured Star Wars tie-ins and models ranging from simple toddler models to complex adult kits. And without a doubt, Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon is an undeniable fan favorite. LEGO’s basic Force Awakens model Falcon contains roughly 1,300 pieces builds into a fair-to-middling duplication of the iconic ship. An advanced kit of the YT-1300 freighter can be found online and consists of 5,000 pieces, retailing for the princely sum of $6,000.
But this wasn’t good enough for one Star Wars aficionado. Over the course of a year, LEGO enthusiastMarshall Banana (via Kotaku) built a gorgeous replica of that thousand-year bird of prey using approximately 7,500 pieces – over two thousand pieces more than the largest LEGO kit for sale. At nearly 3 feet long, the impressive model weighs about 22 pounds and follows the design schematic of the actual Falcon meticulously.

Check out images of said “ultimate” Millennium Falcon LEGO design, below:

Banana’s facsimile, which bristles with lighted laser cannons and an illuminated engine, even includes the modified square radar dish to replace the one Lando lost inside the second Death Star. Its only real drawback is its lack of a fully rendered interior. Due to the weight limitations on the central construction, Banana wasn’t able to craft a fully functional interior. However, the model does allow you to “sit” inside a detailed version of the Falcon’s cockpit (view more images of Marshall’s Millennium Falcon in his album).

The dedication and drive of Star Wars fans and LEGO builders alike is truly impressive. And Marshall Banana’s Millennium Falcon is far from his first or only LEGO construct from the Star Wars universe. The block wizard also slapped together an impressive Sandcrawler, a meticulous X-Wing fighter, and several set pieces from famous battles such as Endor and Hoth.

Of course crafting Star Wars replicas from LEGO bricks is clearly not everyone’s forte. One of these beauties takes a great deal of skill, resources, and precision planning, as well as a sizeable chunk of time. If you’re like me, you may want to start with the 9-14 ranged sets and work your way up. However, when it comes to fan creativity, your only true limit is the boundaries of your imagination.

Monday, December 14, 2015

The World's Best Robots Are Still Hilariously Terrible

Movies like the Terminator series have convinced us that robots are eventually going to kill us all.

Don't get it twisted, that’s still eventually going to happen without a doubt but we’ve got a long way to go before we build a T-1000 or even an Arnold version.  That is because as DARPA’s 2015 Robotics Challenge, (or as I like to call it, the most funny time of the year) shows, even the best and smartest robots right now are still so hilariously dumb that they can’t even walk right.

Walk or not, you put some lasers on them, and we are gonna be in trouble.

The good folks over at Gizmodo took some ridiculous footage of some of the best robot fails from the DARPA event and put a Benny Hill soundtrack over their falls. It’s great! It’s hilarious! But don’t laugh too hard because you know the robots will come back and kill us all in a few decades.  And they are robots, so their memory is infallible.

Remember, before you are crushed under the weight of a metal alloy foot in a few years, that at one time these killer automatons were real stupid.  

Friday, December 11, 2015

Disney Makes Their Star Wars Plans Clear: There Is Much Money To Be Made

When Disney bought Lucasfilm in 2012 and subsequently announced that it would resume the production of Star Warsmovies, the big news was that it wouldn't just involve the continuing Saga series. There would now be a new Star Warsfilm every year, with standalone one-off stories interspersing the ongoing episodes. In other words, if you think one of the biggest corporations in the world is going to buy arguably the biggest license (next to Marvel, which they already got) and not give it the Marvel yearly treatment...bitch you must be crazy.

The first of these--Gareth Edwards' Rogue One--is now only a year away from release, and Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy has provided some details about what fans can expect from the spinoffs.

In an interview with Slashfilm, Kennedy revealed that the filmmakers involved would have the freedom to explore different genres and styles, separate from the established feel of the Saga movies. "The standalone films can be a wide variety of genres inside the Star Wars universe," she said. "They are really being designed as standalone movies which is fantastic for the filmmakers we bring in, and the actors we hire, because it's a different sensibility."

Kennedy went on to explain that, while Rogue One and 2018's young Han Solo film are clearly prequels to the existing movies, this wouldn't always be the case. "The stories can fall pretty much anywhere on the timeline," she said. "It just so happens to be Rogue One is the precursor to New Hope and yes, this Han Solo idea, but I would not argue that we are setting up any kind of prequel notion with these standalone movies. I think that's so far just coincidence."

Finally, Kennedy denied that the films would themselves create yet more spinoffs and sequels. "[They are] are not being designed to necessarily build new franchises," she said. "They will very definitely have a beginning, middle, and end."

Star Wars: Rogue One is due for release on December 16, 2016, and stars Felicity Jones, Riz Ahmed, Ben Mendelsohn, Forest Whitaker, and Donnie Yen.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Best Game of The Year Also Has The Best Art

Now this is a treat. The Witcher 3 has easily been my favourite game of 2015, and quite possibly might be one of my favorite games ever.  From the rich world-building, to the fantastic characters, to the sheer scope of the story and setting, it drew me in and wowed me in ways that few other video games do.  In a year that saw releases from two of my all-time favorite franchises  (Metal Gear Solid V and Fallout 4) it has eclipsed them both to steal my heart. 

So naturally it’s a pleasure to showcase a collection of artwork that went into the game’s development and promotion.

What you’ll see below is an assortment of images, some from CD Projekt Red’s own artists, some are early sketches for characters, and all of which spark some deep emotions and memories in my lil' noggin.

Check it out:

And go play this damn game already.  Don't worry about the other two in the series, because I sure didn't, and look where we are right now.

Monday, December 7, 2015

New Game Allows You To Explore Chernobyl From Your Couch

Polish game studio The Farm 51—who are in possession of some very exciting graphics tech—are working on a virtual reality experience that will let users explore the ruined nuclear power plant at Chernobyl, along with the abandoned, nearby town of Pripyat.

Having scanned huge swathes of the area and recreated them in a 3D space, The Chernobyl VR Project will let users walk around and check out a place that’s been off-limits to most following its evacuation in 1986.

Players will be in the shoes of a documentary crew. Seeing as there are guns in the trailer below, hopefully you won’t have to spend half the time sneaking around in the grass.

The Farm 51 are looking at releasing the project on “multiple VR headsets, including Oculus, PlayStation VR, Vive or Samsung Gear VR.”

Sunday, December 6, 2015

FUNDAY: Run The Bernie

We may have been gone for a minute folks, but...we, as a certain Ice Cube would say, are "back up in this bitch like the Resurrection!"

We cannot leave you alone Funday people, because our connection is forever.  It's perfect.  It's well...if it could be represented in picture form, it would look like this:

Man...El-P looks terrible.

It's beautiful right?


Pusha T

All hail King Push.  May he reign forever.

Yellow Claw f/ DJ Mustard, Ty Dolla $ign, and Tyga

Just how good is the West Coast dream team of DJ Mustard (on the beat ho) and Ty (best harmonies in the game) Dolla Sign?  They can still manage to make me love a song that features both shitty EDM and the corniest rapper in the game, based off an incredible bridge and chorus.  That is a truly an amazing feat.


For some idea of how big a deal CL is in Asia, you only need to watch this video of her performing at the Mnet Asian Music Awards in Hong Kong earlier this week, getting Michael Jackson/’N SYNC-level screams while strutting through lasers and motorcycles and flag-waving dancers. (Stick around for the 2NE1 reunion.) She is, point blank, one of the biggest and most important pop stars in the world. And the fact that she’d go solo with a piece of kinetic trap music with this level of attitudinal style is… well, it’s not weird, exactly, since we more or less expect pop stars to be weird nowadays. But it’s awesome. The beat has the quasi-eastern swagger and megaton thump of a circa-’04 Polow Da Don track, and CL’s bilingual snarl is huge enough to swallow the sky. If this ends up being the song that takes CL global — if, indeed, that hasn’t already happened — America’s pop stars are not safe.


“Special Edition” severely rips off R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)” which, to be clear, is a distinct compliment because despite what you think of Kelly, that song is a masterpiece.  This song however, rips that one off and has the distinction of being sung by someone who doesn't pee on underage girls, so its doubly good.

Justin Bieber f/Travis Scott

I know I have featured this one before, but fuck it I do what I want.  This song and video are so on the level of 100 FLAME EMOJIS it deserves more shine.  It's also simultaneously another example this week of an excellent song being able to be so excellent that it transcends a super lame feature from a wack/corny rapper (SEE ABOVE: Ty Dolla transcending corny Tyga), and features the Royal Family.  In case you don't know, those are the women who are absolutely MURDERING the choreography below.  Seriously, watch this thing.  It's ridiculous. 

That's it for this week y'all. Happy Hannukah.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Christmas Comes Early With Nick Offerman's 45 Minute Whiskey Drinking Yule Log Video

Are you worried about what to do for the holidays?  Scared that you might be lonely and sad?

Well worry no more!  That's because everyone's most favorite eloquent bearded Fargo counselor (the only counselor in town)  (Also, go watch Fargo) is here to give you an early Christmas present.  Be assured, it is something you want.  Even if you don't know that you wanted it.

This gift?  A 45 minute video of Nick Offerman drinking whiskey.

See?  I knew you'd like it.

In a new, “hot take” on the traditional Yule Log, Offerman sits in an arm chair by a Yule Log and stares at viewers for 45 minutes straight in between occasional sips of Lagavulin Single Malt Scotch Whisky. It’s his latest stunt for the distillery on the Island of Islay in Scotland. This time last year, in fact, he played the guitar and sang an ode to the dead-pan, mustachioed character’s drink of choice.

So here it is, drink it in.  Savor it.

So there you go.  You are set for the holidays.  And also simultaneously now have a gift for anyone you don't know.  Don't know what to get grandma?  Send her a link to this video.  Don't know how to please your boss with a perfect gift?  Now you are covered. (Also, maybe throw in a bottle of Lagavulin, and really seal the deal.)

And if it gets old — or if his stare makes you feel too uncomfortable — then you clearly have no soul, and should seek help.  

The New Batman V Superman Trailer Is Here And It Pretty Much Spoils The Whole Movie

The full trailer for one of 2016's most-anticipated superhero movies has arrived. Following the teaser earlier this week, you can now check out much more of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice right here:

(Before you do though, be warned, this trailer pretty much spoils the entire movie.  Hollywood sucks.)

(Seeiously, don't watch past 2:24)

Yep. Doomsday is in this.  Looks like Bats and Supes aren't gonna be fighting for too long...

While the presence of Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Lex Luthor, and Wonder Woman were all expected, the appearance of Doomsday was not. There had been rumours that the monstrous creature might be the main villain for the superheroes to team up against, but they were never confirmed--until now.

In an interview with Variety last month, Batman star Ben Affleck spoke about the need for the movie to be a big hit, following a disappointing year at the box office for DC's parent company Warner. "I think there is a ton of pressure on it," he said. "I mean I would be bullsh**ting you to say there isn't."

"You'll see next year they are going to have a great year," he continued. "They are now developing probably the single greatest under-exploited IP asset in the entertainment business, the DC comic world. And now they have started to exploit that and you are going to see that blossom. And, when it does, it's going to be massive.

"Nonetheless, there's a lot of pressure on it. If it doesn't do well, that will be extremely disappointing."

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice will open on March 25, 2016. It also stars Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Diane Lane, Gal Gadot, and Laurence Fishburne.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Samurai Jack Returns

Oh my god. Oh my god. It is happening people.  It is really going to happen this time.

Genndy Tartakovsky’s iconic cartoon series Samurai Jack, which blended scifi and Japanese swordsman awesomeness, came to an end over a decade ago now. It’s lived on in the form of comics since, but at long last, Jack is coming back to television for a whole new season of adventures.

Adult Swim just announced that Tartakovsky will return to helm the series, currently in development at Cartoon Network Studios, for a return on Toonami sometime in 2016. No more details were revealed, other than this incredibly short teaser trailer that you can see the entirety of in the gif above, and a similar poster:

I cannot wait.

Darth Vader Redesigned And Other Cool Art

Ario Murti is a freelance illustrator from Indonesia.

He likes to draw rad shit.  Like, since everyone is just dying for more Star Wars, but are (for the most part I assume) unable to travel forward in time, breaking us off a piece of ol' Darth Vader in an excellent redesign sans helmet.

He also does other cool shit too.

Like this:

And these:

And quite possibly my personal favorite:

Tell me you don't want that on your wall.  Just try to lie to me.

I’m loving how clean and poster-y all his stuff is, but that Darth Vader redesign in particular is just the fucking coolest.

Especially when it is presented this way...


What I am trying to convey here is that this man has talent. You can see more of Ario’s work at his personal site and ArtStation page.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

George Lucas Is Talking About Han Solo And It's Gonna Make You Mad

"Han Solo was going to marry Leia, and you look back and say, 'Should he be a cold-blooded killer?' Lucas questioned. "Because I was thinking mythologically--should he be a cowboy, should he be John Wayne? And I said, 'Yeah, he should be John Wayne.' And when you're John Wayne, you don't shoot people [first]--you let them have the first shot. It's a mythological reality that we hope our society pays attention to."

George Lucas may legally have nothing to do with Star Wars now that Disney graciously took it off of his hands, but nerds of the world, don't you for one second think that he doesn't have stuff to say about the thing that made him a billionaire.  Things that will probably make the Internet upset.

He is just trolling everyone now, right?

These new comments from Lucas provide some interesting insight into his decision to change the scene for the movie's re-release. But it's unlikely to put the matter to bed. "Han shot first" will most definitely continue to be a controversial topic for years and years.

But Lucas isn't reading your comments. He tells The Washington Post that he has avoided the Internet since 2000. He doesn't have a Facebook or Twitter account, and he doesn't use email.
The full Washington Post profile of Lucas is a good read. It also touches on Lucas' thoughts on not being involved with The Force Awakens, a film that he says strays from his original vision for Star Wars.

"There is no such thing as working over someone's shoulder," he said. "You're either the dictator or you're not. And to do that would never work, so I said 'I'm going to get divorced.' ... I knew that I couldn't be involved. All I'd do is make them miserable. I'd make myself miserable. It would probably ruin a vision--[director J.J. Abrams] has a vision, and it's his vision."

The Force Awakens opens on December 18.

Columbia Has A Hippo Problem

Two hippopotamuses, the BBC reports, descended from those imported into Colombia by Pablo Escobar in the 1980s, have been seen grazing in fields with cattle in the town of Puerto Triunfo, near the city of Medellin, forced there by drought.

I didn't ask to be brought here.

When the Colombian government confiscated Escobar’s ranch, Hacienda Napoles, in the early ‘90s, most of the exotic animals the drug kingpin had smuggled in were relocated to zoos around the country. The hippos, however, were left in their lakes—three females and one male.

The wild population reportedly reached around 60 last year, when Colombian vets began sterilizing some of the animals:
The animals eat tons of vegetation and farmers’ crops. 
There have been years of debate about what to do with them and discussions about whether they should be culled.
But many Colombians like them and there there have even been cases of calves being taken home as pets. 
Five years ago, the authorities shot and killed one of the hippos on the Escobar estate and the incident caused outrage. The hunt for other animals was called off. 
But the government says the hippos pose a public safety risk and is funding the sterilisations from money seized from drug traffickers.

According to the BBC, local biologists say they’re waiting for specialist dart guns with which to sedate the hippos in Puerto Triunfo before moving them. They’ve told children to steer clear of the vegetarian—but violent—beasts.  

Definitely don't let them near any cocaine.