Wednesday, July 8, 2015

Save Your Comrades' Lives With Russia's Selfie Safety Guide

Russians.  We all know how they are, right?  They are the world's hardasses.  They live life on the edge in all ways possible.  For example, this is their idea of a fun day out on the town:

They are dedicated.  Dedicated to living on the edge at all times.  Even when it comes to taking something as seemingly as harmless as a regular old selfie.

Apparently, the people of Russia are so dedicated to selfies and/or eager to welcome death that their “high-risk” selfie poses have caused injuries to hundreds and killed dozens more. Naturally, the Russian government was forced to appeal to the nations’s youth in the only way that made sense: dry, informational pamphlets.

Don't forget the unintentionally hilarious illustrations!

Of course, the accompanying diagrams (to use the word generously) alone can only tell us so much. English speakers are idiots too, after all, so why keep this valuable safe-selfie information secret? Lucky for us pansies though, Russian-bred Dmitriy Kolinov  is here for us to unlock the mysteries of the Cyrillic alphabet.  In other words he is here to translate the pamphlets’ hidden wisdom.

And what a set of wisdom indeed:


Call me crazy, but a safe selfie is not the selfie I want to take.  Then again, perhaps I am unknowingly part Russian.

Somebody get these to the teens in the video above.  Quick!  "On the roof it'll be a high fall," - I mean it says it right there.

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