When you live in an era where the answers to almost anything are literally at your fingertips, to encounter something that you just cannot figure out can be scary. Unsettling even. When you see something that even our benevolent hat-enthusiast Sway doesn't even have the answers to.
Something like this:
|Somebody help him!|
This photo came across my computer screen today and my brain’s reaction was to stare at it. Just stare. No thinking, no analyzing, just have a good, long stare. It was the same reaction to seeing a Monet or a Rembrandt—before you even begin to analyze, you just take it in. Really just let the reality of the image hit you. Now that I have spent roughly 20 to 90 minutes internalizing it, I have a few questions.
Why did this happen? Why is Paul McCartney covering his balls with such abandonment? Did Dane Cook kick Sir Paul in the wiener? Where is this forsaken bathroom?
So many questions. So many queries that we will never have the answers to...
So then what do we do? How do we attack this world's mysteries? We simply must soldier on. We must protect our McCartneys from the scourge of the world's Dane Cooks. We can do it, but we must do it together.
Reach out your hand Funday peoples, we can do it together.
Leave it to Atlanta's most excellent weirdo Thugger to drop what as far as I am concerned is now the payday anthem. Seriously, just try bumping this on your way home with that valuable piece of paper, you might just burn that motherfucking bank to the ground.
Still cannot figure out why Flowers insists on setting most of his videos inside of the old Wild West. However it is hard to deny such a prime slice of spooky 80's silliness like this. Also, Evan Rachel Wood, so that is another reason for this one to be here.
There are not too many music videos where throughout the length you have absolutely no idea what is going on. This is one though.
London looks pretty rad. I will probably have to go there someday. Not too sure about the rain though, but fuck it, I'll give it a shot. Also that Idris Muhammad sample has got to be the new "Funky Drummer" ubiquitous sample for cool sampling. I must have heard it in about 5 or 6 songs so far this year, and for sure have definitely posted at least one of them here before. Still though, it has not gotten old yet, so that just makes the argument for it that much stronger.
Go fucking thrash something! You have under two minutes to do so.
I admit it. I am an Action Bronson Stan. I have never admitted being one of those for anyone, not even Kanye, before. I just cannot help it though, he is the best dude on the planet. The mother fucker throws out televisions at his shows. How does anyone even keep that?
Lip Sync Battle
Rock vs. Fallon. FIGHT!
BLOOD MOON! Cure the metal and enjoy one of the coolest natural phenomenon most people are always sleeping during. Oh, and it is also time-lapse because this is the Internet and everybody loves time-lapses. Get to moon watching.
This is only slightly creepy...only slightly though. See what happens when everyone's favorite English gentlemen with the most English of names has his likeness made the only more possible sweeter. By becoming chocolate.
Fast to The Future
Prepare to have your heart broken.
See you next week. Until then, keep on pondering those mysteries that are the daily lives of terrible comedians.