Thursday, March 26, 2015

McDonald's Is Making Clothes And You Cannot Even Eat Them

Wearing clothes is mostly good. Being yourself, also good. The official position is: Wear what you like. Unless what you like is memecore thermals adorned with enhanced images of Big Macs and sold to you by the McDonald's corporation. McDonald's is going into fashion, and it's bad.

Unless these are also edible, no sale.

McDonald's Sweden (exclusive, rare, crispy) has unveiled a Big Mac product line that is ugly as it is stupid. It is Brands Saying Bae, on cool-kid approved separates, forever. Are you fit and attractive? Do you have a "trendy" hairstyle? McDonald's suggests you buy a raincoat or Wellingtons or bedsheets covered in the "hamburger of hamburgers." When was the last time you wore something so good or cool? When was the last time you ate cow tortured and processed on behalf of America's most cynical corporation? You can put the two together if you live in Sweden and feel like spending $60 on a shirt.

Coming embarrassment.

Wear whatever you want, unless that thing is a fucking burger suit from a giant corporation that has no idea about clothes.

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