Monday, March 23, 2015

The Most Messed Up Urban Legend Just Happened For Real

See the thing about urban legends that makes them so scary is that they are just so close to being believable that you say to yourself, "Man, that would never happen to me." While your brain is telling you, "Oh yes, it could totally happen."

They are the reason why you check the fuck out of your backseat when you are reminded of that story, or turn the damn lights on when you get home to where your roommate is sleeping.

Maybe also get out of the fucking house right now.


One unlucky soul though just found out that apparently urban legends can be real, and unfortunately in this case it is one of the most fucked up stories come to life.

I guess it isn't an urban legend anymore?

Ever hear the one about the licking dog? No? Perhaps you should just walk away right now, and be content to live a life free of fear and dread. Oh god, how I envy you. Ok, via Wikipedia:

A young girl is home alone for the first time with only her dog for company. Listening to the radio, she hears of a serial killer (or mental patient) on the loose, so she locks all the doors and windows (in some versions, the basement window is jammed open so she just locks the basement door) and goes to bed, taking her dog to her room with her and letting it sleep under her bed. She wakes in the night and can hear a dripping sound coming from the bathroom. The dripping sound annoys her, and she actually finds it unsettling for some reason. The bedside lamp won't work, and she is too scared to get out of bed to turn on the main light and walk over to the bathroom. She hides under the covers but to reassure herself that the dog is still under the bed she puts her hand down and feels licking on her hand. She lies awake for some time listening to the dripping sound and periodically puts her hand down to where she can hear heavy breathing and each time feels gentle licks on her fingers. Eventually she falls asleep. The next morning when she wakes, she goes to the bathroom for a drink of water. On the shower wall, written in blood are the words "HUMANS CAN LICK TOO", and her slaughtered dog is hanging from the shower head, its blood, now thick and dark, still dripping into the bathtub.

Fun story, huh? How'd you like to read it again (albeit without the fluids)... IN A PALM SPRINGS NEWSPAPER .


A stranger was knocking on residents' doors, drawing the suspicion of a neighbor who phoned the police. The neighbor watched the man walk toward the rear of a residence, according to the report.
 
Inside that home, a woman was searching for her two cats. 
As the woman reached under her bed, she "felt she had touched human skin," an officer wrote in the report. "The suspect was hiding under her bed."

No word on the status of her cats, but goddamn lady you might want to have a friend check out the bathroom for you. 

And now we can all never leave our bedroom again without booby trapping it in some way.  I suggest hundreds of mousetraps.

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