Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Piece of Shit Bees Try And Fail To Kill Grandpa

Bunch of piece of shit bees tried to murder an old grandpa at a baseball game in southern Utah on Friday. Can you believe it? Of course you can. Bees have been pulling this shit forever.

Pictured: A honeybee real asshole.


KSL reports the man and bee target, 89-year-old Jay Francis, was enjoying a baseball game with his family at Elks Field on Friday morning when the bees attacked. "I must have been extra sweet," Francis said, "because they just wouldn't leave me alone." Cute, even in the face of extreme bee terror. A hero. (Though I do think the attack was more likely due to the shittiness of bees rather than the sweetness of Francis.)

Captain Rob Hooper of the St. George Fire Department told St. George News the bees swarmed after an underground beehive near a telephone pole was disrupted. A likely story from a bunch of tiny malevolent monsters bent on murder.

Francis went on about his attack, via KSL:


"First it was one, then two, then three. Then they were everywhere," Francis said. "It was just horrible. My head started aching. I can't believe how sensitive it was."
 
"They stung me right here," Francis said, pointing to his ear. "Right on my nose and the top of my head and the back of my head."

Francis was stung 400 times. His son ran to help him, telling KSL, "His face was just covered in bees. You saw his eyes and his mouth."

His face. Was just. Covered. In bees. You saw. His eyes. And mouth!

The bees swarmed for about fifteen minutes before the fire department arrived to disable their attack. KCSG reports seven were treated on the scene, and Francis was rushed to a nearby hospital. KSL explains, a little rudely, "doctors told him he's lucky to be alive, not just because he's 89 years old, but because he had nearly 400 bee stings."

Fucking bees, man.

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