Tuesday, March 3, 2015

Newspaper Reaps Child's Whirlwind When They Take Away His Sunday Funnies

You just don't get between a kid and his Garfield. You just don't do it.

"Idiots." "Jerks." "Shitholes." These are just some of the names you might be called if you get between a child and his goddamn Sunday funnies, as one unfortunate editor in Indiana did this week.

There is literally nothing else to do in Indiana!

"I want back these comics, now!" demanded an impressively profane 8-year-old in a voicemail left for Herald-Times editor Bob Zaltsberg this Sunday after he replaced 13 different strips.

Other highlights of the tape: The reader offering to give Zaltsberg all his money, chanting,"Ya jerks. Ya jerks, ya jerks, ya jerks," and a just-audible warning from the boy's mother, "Don't threaten."

According to Zaltsberg, the replaced comics were the result of failed negotiations after the paper's publisher reduced their cartoon budget.  Which really, in the last gasps of print media, is the thing that you should clearly be increasing with people like this foul-mouthed young ruffian out there.

There are a lot of bad parents out there who've never shown their child the joys of an incompetent army base.

You gotta hand it to the kid, to be engrossed in a Sunday edition, pouring over the comics, rather than nose down in an iPhone like all the other potential techno-zombies of his young age.  Makes me almost want to shed a damn tear.

"I thought it was a very funny thing," the editor told Jim Romensko, "but still an 8-year-old calling me a shithole isn't that pleasant."

Well, then get him back his motherfucking Ziggy Romensko!  And make it quick! As a 29 year old child myself, if someone took my Marmaduke away, they would rue the fucking day.  THEY WOULD RUE IT!

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