Wednesday, February 25, 2015

That's It, Ping Pong Is Over

Sure, you could keep playing ping pong in your life, if you were so inclined, but what would be the point, really, when simultaneously the ultimate and most chill ping pong thing has already happened, and it wasn't you who did it, so why even bother?

Ping pong has officially been won, and is now over as an entertainment device.  Just go ahead and throw that table in your basement right into a damn dumpster.  Get a foosball table and start over, or at least a pool table...

The man in red—having tasted glory only to have it shoved down his throat, backwards, without looking—glances towards the camera. He shrugs his shoulders. What can he do? What can any of us do?  He has clearly stared into the face of greatness, and found only heartbreak staring back at him.  

No matter how hard you ping, there will always be a better pong coming at your ass.  Might as well stick to the game where little men do backflips and kick a tiny soccer-like ball.

"Two points," the man in blue, the chillest man in the world, proclaims. He punctuates his victory. "And a pizza."

And a pizza indeed sir, you have more than earned it.  Perhaps over sustenance, you can show your opponent the keys to victory you have so clearly discovered.  Or, perhaps your ping can never be taught...only time will tell... 

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