Thursday, February 12, 2015

No Those Kanye Rumors Are Not True You Dummy

Your most gullible Facebook friends reported today that the outlaw Kanye West has been banned from future appearances at the Grammys, the Oscars, the MTV Video Music Awards, and the People's Choice Awards for his audacious crimes against the musical establishment. And further, that major TV networks have informally agreed to "boycott" West. You may tell those friends: Nah. It's just another stunt from a fake news site.  Your friends are also probably dummies.

Sorry fucbois, Yeezus will not be held down.

Snopes has traced the rumor back to a story on The Adobo Chronicles, one of the internet's hydra-like multiplicity of bullshit-spewing, fucking terrible "satirical" news sites. The reason for its spread isn't a huge mystery: "Kanye West Barred From All Future Awards Shows" is a splashy, timely celebrity headline that describes something your stereotypical email-forwarder, along with a bunch of Internet racists (do yourself a favor and never search "kanye nigger" on Twitter, it'll ruin your day), would love to see happen.
And indeed, most of the people who didn't bother to verify the story are excited—and literally thanking God, in some cases—that "disrespectful," "ignorant," "narcissistic" "racist"(?!) Kanye isn't going to be on their TVs anymore.

Like most racists though, these people are incredibly stupid.  Does anyone with any intelligence at all realize the fact that the one person who has the ability and gall to bring some life to all these fucking dead award shows will never be banned due to that fact.  Just ask yourself this:  Would nearly as many people have given a fuck about the Grammys this year if not for Kanye?  The answer is a resounding no, just in case you are an idiot.

There are going to be a lot of terrible character, sad white people watching this year's VMAs.  But hey, fuck them.  Fuck them so hard.

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