Tuesday, February 17, 2015

American Learns Not To Run With Bulls

This weekend an American college student answered the eternal question—"I wonder if it's worth it to pay money to get close enough to a bull that he could gore my sphincter?"—with a firm no.

Firm, like a horn up your asshole.

Benjamin Miller, a 20-year-old Georgia resident, was celebrating at the Carnaval del Toro in Ciudad Rodrigo, Spain when he reportedly set out running alongside what turned out to be quite the aggressive bull. A photographer on scene documented the goring, which left Miller with serious injuries to his thighs, ahem...sphincter...and back muscles.

Please do something else to help me.  That is not working.

"It's not the worst injury I've seen, but it's the biggest goring wound I've ever had to operate on," surgeon Enrique Crespo told reporters after performing a three-hour operation on Miller, who is now reportedly in intensive care.

Rectum? Damn near killed him!

Don't run with the bulls folks.  Or if you do, wear some chain-mail underwear.

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