Tuesday, January 13, 2015

R2-D2 Subtitles Reveal He Is Mostly Just Pissed Off

Jabba had subtitles, Greedo even had subtitles.  But everyone's favorite service droid, the impetus for 6 movies (now perhaps 9) worth of space fantasy and perhaps the most famous MacGuffin of them all, R2-D2, never got to tell us all what he was thinking.

No insight into the droid that was tasked with carrying the rebel's most important message, the one stalwart companion to many of the galaxies most important political figures.

Turns out it was mostly just disbelief that for decades his main companions were either a limey/snooty gold robot, a whiney Jedi with a rattail, or Mr. No Confidence Luke Skywalker.

Helluva job you got there pal.

Lucky for us though the good folks at Eclectic Method (via Laughing Squid) have gone through the six flicks and subtitled R2's scenes, revealing a deeply frustrated droid facing a constant struggle against the incompetency of his colleagues. His only defence/release? Being an asshole.  And really?  Can you blame him?  Anybody would be a little jaded after spending a lifetime with Anakin.

Check it out:

R2D2 Subtitles by eclecticmethod

He never asked to be assistant to the Jedi order.  To fly around the galaxy getting blown up time and time again, dunked in a swamp, and always having to hear adolescent crybabies whine about their destiny.  He can't even go up stairs for fuck's sake.

Then, when he finally gets a solid job away from it all serving drinks in Jabba's palace, the galaxies gang of misfits come and blow that all up too.

Pouring one out for you R2.  You deserve better.

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