Wednesday, January 21, 2015

Man Falls Into Garbage Truck And Is Saved By Trash Coffin

A man who accidentally fell into the back of a dump truck reportedly survived the garbage ordeal by building himself a trash coffin.

Which is also coincidentally the name of my new punk band.

The man told cops he had been inside a dumpster looking for his wallet when the entire thing was dumped into the back of a garbage truck bound for—no joke—Yolo County, CA.  Sure buddy.  Sure you weren't in there just eating all you can of that sweet sweet garbage?

Also, "Yolo County?!"  Perhaps he was just living by the county mandate.  Never been in a business end of a garbage truck for a sweet ride?  Well, we are in the right county. YOLO!

To protect himself from suffocating in the wet tangled trash nightmare, he maneuvered pieces of lumber around himself to "build a coffin."  Thereby forever putting meaning to the "put 'em in a coffin" meme.  In fact, he is now an innovator.

"The man said he was stuck in the truck for about an hour, but estimates show it was more like 3 or 3 1/2 hours," Lt. Martin Torres of the Yolo County Sheriff's Office told reporters. "The truck made several other pick-ups before arriving at the landfill, where the driver saw the man crawl out of his trash pile."  Apparently trash coffins must be comfortable, so much so that you don't want to get out of them despite the truck stopping multiple times.

He was eventually rescued when the truck dumped its load at the Yolo County landfill, where the operator noticed him flopping around in the trash.

"He was lucky the truck was only half full," Torres said. "Had it been full, he would have certainly been crushed and suffocated to death."  Yes, lucky is the word.

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