Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Axl And Slash Are Reuniting Quite Possibly For Real

After months of increasingly loud rumors, now the most surprising non-surprising thing is officially official: A version of Guns N’ Roses featuring Axl Rose and Slash will tour next year.

Ben and Jerry, Lucy and Desi, Tom and Jerry (lots of Jerry's here), Jerry and Neuman, and now Axl and Slash will once again be added to the pantheon of best duos around.

Or will they...

It may happen, but it will most certainly not look like this.

Billboard confirms via “multiple sources” that GNR will headline both weekends of Coachella in April followed by “as many as 25 football stadiums in North America in the summer of 2016.” GNR are also expected to be one of the first bands to play the new Las Vegas Arena, which opens 4/6. These shows would mark Rose and Slash’s first performances together since 7/17/93. Reps for the band and Coachella have not returned requests for comment, but it seems safe to get stoked. (Or not.)

This will either go two ways:

  1. It will happen and probably be cool in a nostalgic way
  2. It will almost happen, and Slash will realize how much he hates Axl still, and everything will explode into a way that only Guns N Roses feuds can.
Either way, it'll probably be cool.

Remember, Axl can't sing, Slash doesn't drink, and neither of them have done anything cool in multiple decades.  That said, this is some NEWS.


Oh yeah.

Monday, December 28, 2015

One Man Has Made The Ultimate Lego Millennium Falcon

Throughout its nearly 40 year history, Star Wars has inspired the young and old to dream and think big – galactically big. Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Lucasfilm/Disney’s latest outing, is breaking box office records and giving a new hope to fans across the globe. And Star Wars’ legions of enthusiasts show their love in many creative ways, whether via fan films, original artwork, and/or by building models (among other ways).

For years, the building block company LEGO has featured Star Wars tie-ins and models ranging from simple toddler models to complex adult kits. And without a doubt, Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon is an undeniable fan favorite. LEGO’s basic Force Awakens model Falcon contains roughly 1,300 pieces builds into a fair-to-middling duplication of the iconic ship. An advanced kit of the YT-1300 freighter can be found online and consists of 5,000 pieces, retailing for the princely sum of $6,000.
But this wasn’t good enough for one Star Wars aficionado. Over the course of a year, LEGO enthusiastMarshall Banana (via Kotaku) built a gorgeous replica of that thousand-year bird of prey using approximately 7,500 pieces – over two thousand pieces more than the largest LEGO kit for sale. At nearly 3 feet long, the impressive model weighs about 22 pounds and follows the design schematic of the actual Falcon meticulously.

Check out images of said “ultimate” Millennium Falcon LEGO design, below:

Banana’s facsimile, which bristles with lighted laser cannons and an illuminated engine, even includes the modified square radar dish to replace the one Lando lost inside the second Death Star. Its only real drawback is its lack of a fully rendered interior. Due to the weight limitations on the central construction, Banana wasn’t able to craft a fully functional interior. However, the model does allow you to “sit” inside a detailed version of the Falcon’s cockpit (view more images of Marshall’s Millennium Falcon in his album).

The dedication and drive of Star Wars fans and LEGO builders alike is truly impressive. And Marshall Banana’s Millennium Falcon is far from his first or only LEGO construct from the Star Wars universe. The block wizard also slapped together an impressive Sandcrawler, a meticulous X-Wing fighter, and several set pieces from famous battles such as Endor and Hoth.

Of course crafting Star Wars replicas from LEGO bricks is clearly not everyone’s forte. One of these beauties takes a great deal of skill, resources, and precision planning, as well as a sizeable chunk of time. If you’re like me, you may want to start with the 9-14 ranged sets and work your way up. However, when it comes to fan creativity, your only true limit is the boundaries of your imagination.

Monday, December 14, 2015

The World's Best Robots Are Still Hilariously Terrible

Movies like the Terminator series have convinced us that robots are eventually going to kill us all.

Don't get it twisted, that’s still eventually going to happen without a doubt but we’ve got a long way to go before we build a T-1000 or even an Arnold version.  That is because as DARPA’s 2015 Robotics Challenge, (or as I like to call it, the most funny time of the year) shows, even the best and smartest robots right now are still so hilariously dumb that they can’t even walk right.

Walk or not, you put some lasers on them, and we are gonna be in trouble.

The good folks over at Gizmodo took some ridiculous footage of some of the best robot fails from the DARPA event and put a Benny Hill soundtrack over their falls. It’s great! It’s hilarious! But don’t laugh too hard because you know the robots will come back and kill us all in a few decades.  And they are robots, so their memory is infallible.

Remember, before you are crushed under the weight of a metal alloy foot in a few years, that at one time these killer automatons were real stupid.  

Friday, December 11, 2015

Disney Makes Their Star Wars Plans Clear: There Is Much Money To Be Made

When Disney bought Lucasfilm in 2012 and subsequently announced that it would resume the production of Star Warsmovies, the big news was that it wouldn't just involve the continuing Saga series. There would now be a new Star Warsfilm every year, with standalone one-off stories interspersing the ongoing episodes. In other words, if you think one of the biggest corporations in the world is going to buy arguably the biggest license (next to Marvel, which they already got) and not give it the Marvel yearly treatment...bitch you must be crazy.

The first of these--Gareth Edwards' Rogue One--is now only a year away from release, and Lucasfilm president Kathleen Kennedy has provided some details about what fans can expect from the spinoffs.

In an interview with Slashfilm, Kennedy revealed that the filmmakers involved would have the freedom to explore different genres and styles, separate from the established feel of the Saga movies. "The standalone films can be a wide variety of genres inside the Star Wars universe," she said. "They are really being designed as standalone movies which is fantastic for the filmmakers we bring in, and the actors we hire, because it's a different sensibility."

Kennedy went on to explain that, while Rogue One and 2018's young Han Solo film are clearly prequels to the existing movies, this wouldn't always be the case. "The stories can fall pretty much anywhere on the timeline," she said. "It just so happens to be Rogue One is the precursor to New Hope and yes, this Han Solo idea, but I would not argue that we are setting up any kind of prequel notion with these standalone movies. I think that's so far just coincidence."

Finally, Kennedy denied that the films would themselves create yet more spinoffs and sequels. "[They are] are not being designed to necessarily build new franchises," she said. "They will very definitely have a beginning, middle, and end."

Star Wars: Rogue One is due for release on December 16, 2016, and stars Felicity Jones, Riz Ahmed, Ben Mendelsohn, Forest Whitaker, and Donnie Yen.

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Best Game of The Year Also Has The Best Art

Now this is a treat. The Witcher 3 has easily been my favourite game of 2015, and quite possibly might be one of my favorite games ever.  From the rich world-building, to the fantastic characters, to the sheer scope of the story and setting, it drew me in and wowed me in ways that few other video games do.  In a year that saw releases from two of my all-time favorite franchises  (Metal Gear Solid V and Fallout 4) it has eclipsed them both to steal my heart. 

So naturally it’s a pleasure to showcase a collection of artwork that went into the game’s development and promotion.

What you’ll see below is an assortment of images, some from CD Projekt Red’s own artists, some are early sketches for characters, and all of which spark some deep emotions and memories in my lil' noggin.

Check it out:

And go play this damn game already.  Don't worry about the other two in the series, because I sure didn't, and look where we are right now.

Monday, December 7, 2015

New Game Allows You To Explore Chernobyl From Your Couch

Polish game studio The Farm 51—who are in possession of some very exciting graphics tech—are working on a virtual reality experience that will let users explore the ruined nuclear power plant at Chernobyl, along with the abandoned, nearby town of Pripyat.

Having scanned huge swathes of the area and recreated them in a 3D space, The Chernobyl VR Project will let users walk around and check out a place that’s been off-limits to most following its evacuation in 1986.

Players will be in the shoes of a documentary crew. Seeing as there are guns in the trailer below, hopefully you won’t have to spend half the time sneaking around in the grass.

The Farm 51 are looking at releasing the project on “multiple VR headsets, including Oculus, PlayStation VR, Vive or Samsung Gear VR.”

Sunday, December 6, 2015

FUNDAY: Run The Bernie

We may have been gone for a minute folks, but...we, as a certain Ice Cube would say, are "back up in this bitch like the Resurrection!"

We cannot leave you alone Funday people, because our connection is forever.  It's perfect.  It's well...if it could be represented in picture form, it would look like this:

Man...El-P looks terrible.

It's beautiful right?


Pusha T

All hail King Push.  May he reign forever.

Yellow Claw f/ DJ Mustard, Ty Dolla $ign, and Tyga

Just how good is the West Coast dream team of DJ Mustard (on the beat ho) and Ty (best harmonies in the game) Dolla Sign?  They can still manage to make me love a song that features both shitty EDM and the corniest rapper in the game, based off an incredible bridge and chorus.  That is a truly an amazing feat.


For some idea of how big a deal CL is in Asia, you only need to watch this video of her performing at the Mnet Asian Music Awards in Hong Kong earlier this week, getting Michael Jackson/’N SYNC-level screams while strutting through lasers and motorcycles and flag-waving dancers. (Stick around for the 2NE1 reunion.) She is, point blank, one of the biggest and most important pop stars in the world. And the fact that she’d go solo with a piece of kinetic trap music with this level of attitudinal style is… well, it’s not weird, exactly, since we more or less expect pop stars to be weird nowadays. But it’s awesome. The beat has the quasi-eastern swagger and megaton thump of a circa-’04 Polow Da Don track, and CL’s bilingual snarl is huge enough to swallow the sky. If this ends up being the song that takes CL global — if, indeed, that hasn’t already happened — America’s pop stars are not safe.


“Special Edition” severely rips off R. Kelly’s “Ignition (Remix)” which, to be clear, is a distinct compliment because despite what you think of Kelly, that song is a masterpiece.  This song however, rips that one off and has the distinction of being sung by someone who doesn't pee on underage girls, so its doubly good.

Justin Bieber f/Travis Scott

I know I have featured this one before, but fuck it I do what I want.  This song and video are so on the level of 100 FLAME EMOJIS it deserves more shine.  It's also simultaneously another example this week of an excellent song being able to be so excellent that it transcends a super lame feature from a wack/corny rapper (SEE ABOVE: Ty Dolla transcending corny Tyga), and features the Royal Family.  In case you don't know, those are the women who are absolutely MURDERING the choreography below.  Seriously, watch this thing.  It's ridiculous. 

That's it for this week y'all. Happy Hannukah.

Thursday, December 3, 2015

Christmas Comes Early With Nick Offerman's 45 Minute Whiskey Drinking Yule Log Video

Are you worried about what to do for the holidays?  Scared that you might be lonely and sad?

Well worry no more!  That's because everyone's most favorite eloquent bearded Fargo counselor (the only counselor in town)  (Also, go watch Fargo) is here to give you an early Christmas present.  Be assured, it is something you want.  Even if you don't know that you wanted it.

This gift?  A 45 minute video of Nick Offerman drinking whiskey.

See?  I knew you'd like it.

In a new, “hot take” on the traditional Yule Log, Offerman sits in an arm chair by a Yule Log and stares at viewers for 45 minutes straight in between occasional sips of Lagavulin Single Malt Scotch Whisky. It’s his latest stunt for the distillery on the Island of Islay in Scotland. This time last year, in fact, he played the guitar and sang an ode to the dead-pan, mustachioed character’s drink of choice.

So here it is, drink it in.  Savor it.

So there you go.  You are set for the holidays.  And also simultaneously now have a gift for anyone you don't know.  Don't know what to get grandma?  Send her a link to this video.  Don't know how to please your boss with a perfect gift?  Now you are covered. (Also, maybe throw in a bottle of Lagavulin, and really seal the deal.)

And if it gets old — or if his stare makes you feel too uncomfortable — then you clearly have no soul, and should seek help.  

The New Batman V Superman Trailer Is Here And It Pretty Much Spoils The Whole Movie

The full trailer for one of 2016's most-anticipated superhero movies has arrived. Following the teaser earlier this week, you can now check out much more of Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice right here:

(Before you do though, be warned, this trailer pretty much spoils the entire movie.  Hollywood sucks.)

(Seeiously, don't watch past 2:24)

Yep. Doomsday is in this.  Looks like Bats and Supes aren't gonna be fighting for too long...

While the presence of Clark Kent, Bruce Wayne, Lex Luthor, and Wonder Woman were all expected, the appearance of Doomsday was not. There had been rumours that the monstrous creature might be the main villain for the superheroes to team up against, but they were never confirmed--until now.

In an interview with Variety last month, Batman star Ben Affleck spoke about the need for the movie to be a big hit, following a disappointing year at the box office for DC's parent company Warner. "I think there is a ton of pressure on it," he said. "I mean I would be bullsh**ting you to say there isn't."

"You'll see next year they are going to have a great year," he continued. "They are now developing probably the single greatest under-exploited IP asset in the entertainment business, the DC comic world. And now they have started to exploit that and you are going to see that blossom. And, when it does, it's going to be massive.

"Nonetheless, there's a lot of pressure on it. If it doesn't do well, that will be extremely disappointing."

Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice will open on March 25, 2016. It also stars Henry Cavill, Amy Adams, Jesse Eisenberg, Diane Lane, Gal Gadot, and Laurence Fishburne.

Wednesday, December 2, 2015

Samurai Jack Returns

Oh my god. Oh my god. It is happening people.  It is really going to happen this time.

Genndy Tartakovsky’s iconic cartoon series Samurai Jack, which blended scifi and Japanese swordsman awesomeness, came to an end over a decade ago now. It’s lived on in the form of comics since, but at long last, Jack is coming back to television for a whole new season of adventures.

Adult Swim just announced that Tartakovsky will return to helm the series, currently in development at Cartoon Network Studios, for a return on Toonami sometime in 2016. No more details were revealed, other than this incredibly short teaser trailer that you can see the entirety of in the gif above, and a similar poster:

I cannot wait.

Darth Vader Redesigned And Other Cool Art

Ario Murti is a freelance illustrator from Indonesia.

He likes to draw rad shit.  Like, since everyone is just dying for more Star Wars, but are (for the most part I assume) unable to travel forward in time, breaking us off a piece of ol' Darth Vader in an excellent redesign sans helmet.

He also does other cool shit too.

Like this:

And these:

And quite possibly my personal favorite:

Tell me you don't want that on your wall.  Just try to lie to me.

I’m loving how clean and poster-y all his stuff is, but that Darth Vader redesign in particular is just the fucking coolest.

Especially when it is presented this way...


What I am trying to convey here is that this man has talent. You can see more of Ario’s work at his personal site and ArtStation page.

Tuesday, December 1, 2015

George Lucas Is Talking About Han Solo And It's Gonna Make You Mad

"Han Solo was going to marry Leia, and you look back and say, 'Should he be a cold-blooded killer?' Lucas questioned. "Because I was thinking mythologically--should he be a cowboy, should he be John Wayne? And I said, 'Yeah, he should be John Wayne.' And when you're John Wayne, you don't shoot people [first]--you let them have the first shot. It's a mythological reality that we hope our society pays attention to."

George Lucas may legally have nothing to do with Star Wars now that Disney graciously took it off of his hands, but nerds of the world, don't you for one second think that he doesn't have stuff to say about the thing that made him a billionaire.  Things that will probably make the Internet upset.

He is just trolling everyone now, right?

These new comments from Lucas provide some interesting insight into his decision to change the scene for the movie's re-release. But it's unlikely to put the matter to bed. "Han shot first" will most definitely continue to be a controversial topic for years and years.

But Lucas isn't reading your comments. He tells The Washington Post that he has avoided the Internet since 2000. He doesn't have a Facebook or Twitter account, and he doesn't use email.
The full Washington Post profile of Lucas is a good read. It also touches on Lucas' thoughts on not being involved with The Force Awakens, a film that he says strays from his original vision for Star Wars.

"There is no such thing as working over someone's shoulder," he said. "You're either the dictator or you're not. And to do that would never work, so I said 'I'm going to get divorced.' ... I knew that I couldn't be involved. All I'd do is make them miserable. I'd make myself miserable. It would probably ruin a vision--[director J.J. Abrams] has a vision, and it's his vision."

The Force Awakens opens on December 18.

Columbia Has A Hippo Problem

Two hippopotamuses, the BBC reports, descended from those imported into Colombia by Pablo Escobar in the 1980s, have been seen grazing in fields with cattle in the town of Puerto Triunfo, near the city of Medellin, forced there by drought.

I didn't ask to be brought here.

When the Colombian government confiscated Escobar’s ranch, Hacienda Napoles, in the early ‘90s, most of the exotic animals the drug kingpin had smuggled in were relocated to zoos around the country. The hippos, however, were left in their lakes—three females and one male.

The wild population reportedly reached around 60 last year, when Colombian vets began sterilizing some of the animals:
The animals eat tons of vegetation and farmers’ crops. 
There have been years of debate about what to do with them and discussions about whether they should be culled.
But many Colombians like them and there there have even been cases of calves being taken home as pets. 
Five years ago, the authorities shot and killed one of the hippos on the Escobar estate and the incident caused outrage. The hunt for other animals was called off. 
But the government says the hippos pose a public safety risk and is funding the sterilisations from money seized from drug traffickers.

According to the BBC, local biologists say they’re waiting for specialist dart guns with which to sedate the hippos in Puerto Triunfo before moving them. They’ve told children to steer clear of the vegetarian—but violent—beasts.  

Definitely don't let them near any cocaine.

Monday, November 30, 2015

Easter Egg Suggests Fallout and Elder Scrolls Exist In The Same Universe

There’s a pretty great easter egg hidden in Fallout 4, and it has some juicy implications about two of Bethesda’s biggest series.

Some of you have probably found this already, especially if you’ve allied with a certain faction in Fallout 4, but! For the rest of you, here’s something pretty cool that you can see aboard the Prydwen, the airship commanded by the Brotherhood of Steel.
Over at the research station, where senior scribe Neriah is located, you can view a variety of of different animals, vegetables, and plants. Most of these are things you’ve encountered out in the wasteland, with the notable exception of this:

Glows?  Grows by water?  That damn thing was in Skyrim!

Yep.  That's a Nirnroot, or I didn't spend 200 hours playing Skyrim.

Now, on its own, the resemblance doesn’t say much. You could rationalize it as Bethesda reusing assets perhaps, or maybe it’s just a totally different plant that happens to look a little like an already-known plant. What really solidifies theSkyrim connection for me is what you’ll find next to the experimental plant. A computer happens to log the discovery of the experimental plant, and how it came to be used by the Brotherhood.

Not only are the entries labeled under “NRT” (which could be read as a shorthand for “Nirnroot”), the plant is described in a very similar way to Nirnroot in Skyrim. For example: one NRT log says that the experimental plant in Fallout is found “at the mouth of a river,” and in The Elder Scrolls, the lore says that Nirnroot “grows only by the water.”

These games are the best.

Saturday, November 28, 2015

Cards Against Humanity Win Black Friday Again With The Best Worst Deal

Black Friday was all-around awful this year, but once again, Cards Against Humanity made out pretty well. The secret to the party game’s success? Asking for your money, and offering nothing in return.

Yes, you read that correctly. Yesterday, the creators of Cards Against Humanity launched a “sale” in which they offered to take five dollars off your hands, in exchange for zilch. 

“The greatest Black Friday gift of all is buying nothing,” wrote the creators of the party game on the store’s website. “We’re offering that for the rock-bottom price of $5.”

Seems like a great deal.

At the time of writing, Cards Against Humanity has raked in over $68,000—not too shabby for what’s literally the worst deal ever. Apparently, openly embracing the dystopian nature of an overexploited consumerism scheme resonates with people.

Also proving two things, they continue to be good at jokes, and people on the Internet will gladly contribute money to things that are stupid.

You don't even get any potato salad.

“Sometimes buying nothing is better than buying Cards Against Humanity,” Cards Against Humanity writes. “This is one of those times.”

Hey, at least they didn’t sell actual bull shit this year.

Friday, November 27, 2015

Scott Stapp Reviews New Movie 'Creed' And Doesn't Know Why It's About Boxing

What are you thankful for in this holiday season? Mashed potatoes? A merciful day off from work? Red wine? Friends and family of all colors and creeds? We’re thankful for all of these things, and also for the Internet’s occasional gems. And the video released this week of Scott Stapp—frontman of late ’90s Christian rock band Creed—reviewing the new boxing film Creed is nothing short of a gift.

In a segment titled “Can You Take Me to the Movies,” a play on Creed’s 1999 hit “Can You Take Me Higher,” Stapp offers his thoughts on the drama, which saw its wide release in theaters Wednesday. He doesn’t try to hide his disappointment, noting in the review, “As Creed the movie unfolded, there wasn’t much that resembled what happened in Creed, the band.”

The Rocky spinoff, starring Michael B. Jordan as Apollo Creed’s son, is presumably about legacy and boxing—a lot of boxing—which makes Stapp a bit sour. In the video, he reminds us that “one time I punched a guy from 311,” a brawl that coincidentally happened 10 years ago Thursday, but as far as actual boxing goes, he’s stayed out of the ring.

File this one under funny.

Tuesday, November 24, 2015

A Miyazaki x Zelda Mashup Would Be A Very Good Thing

Hayao Miyazaki is often called "The Japanese Walt Disney" (a heartfelt but somewhat limiting title) for a reason.  Because his animated films have inspired and wowed audiences around the world for decades. 

Whether he is exploring a magical moving castle, a fierce battle of technology and nature, or even a goldfish, his films are often described as masterpieces.

Another Japanese favorite, Nintendo has their own masterpiece in the Zelda series of games, which not only inspired thousands of gamers, but literally changed video games forever with both their imagination and innovation.

It’s a collaboration that won’t happen anytime soon, but that doesn’t mean one can’t imagine it.  That doesn't mean, however, that you won't still desperately want it to.

Matt Vince made these fantastic concept illustrations of a Studio Ghibli x Zelda movie and its posters.

Now why can't this be real?


Sunday, November 22, 2015

FUNDAY: Back Up In It

Don't you worry y'all, Funday took a week sabbatical, but only because it was my birthday.

We back in the saddle folks, and we back for good.

So I won't waste your time with and intro, let's just get into it shall we?  There are two weeks worth of bangerz here, and there is no time for me to try and be funny.


Missy Elliot

Thank you for coming back Missy.  We all needed you so much.

Fetty Wap

Fetty, see the above sentiment expressed about Missy.  Don't you ever leave us.


The best post-apocalyptic fiction is the stuff that allows us to imagine survivors having fun in the ashes of a bygone civilization. All the apocalyptic stuff is implied here, but the gas-masks get the point across well enough. And when is boogie-boarding anything less than fun?

Unknown Mortal Orchestra

Here’s something fun to think about: Even if you’re head-over-heels in love with someone, you can never truly know them on the deepest level because other people are always mysteries. Here’s a silly cartoon video to illustrate that point.

Justin Bieber f/Travis Scott

Biebs continues his assault to (despite your every wish) make you love his music secretly, and then (inevitably) publicly when you admit it to your friend.  Only to be surprised that they feel exactly the same too.  It happened with Timberlake, and mark my words, it's going to happen again.  Also, this group of dancers is on their second JB video now, and should just probably be in every other music video forever.


See you next week Internet.  Feels good to be back.

Friday, November 20, 2015

These Tap Dancing Birds Will Make Your Relationship Pale In Comparison

This is it; we will never be capable of real romance again.

The blue-capped cordon bleu is not a delicious sort of sandwich, but a three-inch finch native to Ethiopia, has both the most irritating and the most charming mating rituals on the face of the Earth. The bird, scientists recently discovered, performs a sort of “tap dance” to catch a girl — a behavior that they only discovered after slowing down footage of the birds to a crawl. Showing once again, one of the many reasons ladies (and gentlemen) love someone like Usher, he's got those moves.

Ladies love dance moves ya'll.

The study, published Thursday in Scientific Reports by scientists at Hokkaido University, recorded the birds achieving miraculous athletic feats. Some of them could get in 200 steps from five seconds to over a minute, according to the Guardian. What’s more, this is an equal-opportunity relationship: the females dance right back.

Fellas love dance moves too y'all.

And best of all, the entire thing is done while grasping a tiny stick in their beaks. It is a better show of romance than any of us could ever attempt. Well, perhaps except for one, a handsome cad who also holds a stick when he dances.

Usher Raymond is a wonderful dude, but to be honest I have never seen him dance with a log in his mouth.

Point to the animal kingdom.  (Still love you though Mr. Raymond.)

Thursday, November 19, 2015

Genius Man Gets Father To Re-inact The Wins of Street Fighter II

The combatants of the Street Fighter series are known for their strong personalities in addition to their fighting skills. The characters also have distinct victory poses and animations. Comedian Nick Luciano convinced his father to do his best to recreate the various victory and taunt animations in Street Fighter II Turbo (one of the best games of all time), and the resulting video is impossible to look away from.

Impossible in the best way possible.

You can see the hilarity of the video below. Sure, some of the taunts, such as those from M. Bison and Ryu, are on the more subdued end of the spectrum, but the more outlandish the character, the more over-the-top the celebration. That's when the real fun begins.

Nick's dad, you are just as good as Street Fighter.  Congratulations!

Wednesday, November 18, 2015

Relive All The Times Luke Skywalker Murked Fools

Jedis tend to spout a lot of high-minded rhetoric about embracing the force, and rejecting anger and darkness and whatnot, but when you get right down to it, they sure do like killing folks. I mean, somebody who carries around a laser sword that can cut through flesh like butter at all times can’t be all thatinto peace and love.

For example, check out the Luke Skywalker kill count supercut put together by Mr. Sunday Movies, above. The Star Wars movies did a great job of making Luke seem naive and innocent, but over the course of the original Star Wars trilogy, he offed a truly astounding number of people. Thousands. Hundreds of thousands. Of course, most of that can be attributed to the destruction of the original Death Star, but hey, Luke pulled that trigger.

Star Wars makes it feel like a glorious, triumphant moment, but when you really think about it, Luke is basically the sci-fi version of the guy who dropped the bomb on Hiroshima. Except Luke never felt guilty about what he did, because the voices in his head told him to do it. Hmmmm.

There’s a lot of debate of whether the next generation of Star Wars heroes and heroines will measure up to the originals, but I have a feeling none of them will ever top Luke when it comes to pure, unrestrained killing power.

This Weekend There's A Ninja Festival In Japan

It's legit.

Live in Tokyo?  Well, aside from having an awesome place to live in for the other 363 days of the year, this weekend you have a really awesome place to live.  Ninja Festivals y'all, they are happening.

While all most people know about ninja is probably “wrong,” this weekend in Tokyo’s Ueno Park, there is a Ninja Festa.

Recently, there have been ninja festivals in Japan (typically Mie Prefecture, traditionally a hotbed of ninja activity, but earlier this year there was one in Osaka).
What do you do at ninja festival? 

Here is a look at past festivals.

Do you see any ninjas?  Exactly.  These guys are good.

So there are food stalls, but that is not at all everything to see...

There are ninja friends to be made...

And even ninja god damned marching bands!

Japan, you are the best place ever.

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

Fallout Mythbusters: Busting Your Favorite Fallout 4 Myths One At A Time

Last week, Bethesda Games released the latest edition of their wildly popular series Fallout. This being the fourth sequel to that franchise. A franchise that features a massive open-world post-apocalypse set in an alternate universe where all the 50's future-tech you like to laugh about actually came true.

 As the world is apt to do with Bethesda games everyone who is a fan is spending most of their free time trying desperately to put a dent in this game, and everyone else is talking about it, or making YouTube videos about it.

A number of Fallout 4 "myths" have been put to the test as part of the latest installment in YouTube channel DefendTheHouse's long-running Mythbusters series. Myths tested in the video below include, "You can use furniture to enter locked buildings"; "You can be killed by a crashing Vertibird"; "It's impossible to remove all limbs from an enemy without killing them"; and more.

Check out the video below.

The Fallout 4 video is labeled as Episode 1, suggesting more are coming. Given the size and non-linear nature of Fallout 4, it's not tough to imagine this series spanning numerous installments over time.

Visit DefendTheHouse's YouTube channel to see a variety of its other Mythbusters videos, including those based on Halo 5: Guardians, Call of Duty: Black Ops III, and Metal Gear Solid V: The Phantom Pain, among many others. Note that the channel is not officially associated with the Discovery channel TV programMythbusters, which is coming to an end soon after 14 seasons..

Monday, November 16, 2015

One Man's Cure For Embarrassing Selfies Is Both Perfect And Nightmarish

One Japanese man has a problem that we all do.  He wants to take selfies (after all it is 2015) but, like all regular people, is embarrassed to use one of those damn selfie sticks out in the real world.

So he came up with an idea...

Nothing to see here, just a man with some long arms enjoying a nice selfie...

Who cares if the result is even more embarrassing. Not this guy!

Over on Japanese comedy site Omocoro, a fellow who goes by “Mansooon” said that he found selfie sticks embarrassing because when you use them, other people know you are using a selfie stick. 

Then, there’s the fact that some hatefolks who use selfie sticks.
So, to overcome this, Mansooon came up with this.

Enjoy all your nightmares this evening!
It's a selfie arm!  Isn't it the coolest?  And so subtle.  No embarrassing things going on here, just a man with very long arms walking down the street.

What's that you say?  My hands look like they are made of plastic?  Well, that's just my horrible curse that an evil magician bestowed upon me, no need to talk about it any longer.

Never change Japan.  Don't you ever go changin'.

Leave It To John Oliver To Make The Most Honest Daily Fantasy Betting Commercial

On last night’s episode of Last Week Tonight, John Oliver unveiled a daily fantasy ad that’s actually honest, for once.

The fake commercial came at the end of one of Oliver’s typically expansive rants on the entire subject of daily fantasy sports. If you haven’t been following all of the stories about daily fantasy’s fuckery, just watch the whole video below.

(And shout out to the surprise cameos)

Once again, like only he can...nailed it.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Look At These Big Ass Ships

If you take the Empire State building, flipped it over to the side, and then put it in the ocean, it would be smaller than some of the world’s largest ships. That’s how big these behemoths of the sea are, more gigantic than skyscrapers. Oil tankers, container ships, pipe-laying vessels, yachts, sailing boats, cruise ships and more, we’ve got all the world’s largest ships still in service today. At times, the scale is just unfathomable.

Holy ship!

Stop What You Are Doing And Watch The New Missy Music Video Right Now

What are you doing?  Are you sitting down?  If not, sit your ass down.  

Okay, now that you are properly seated, you need to watch Missy Misdemeanor's new motherfucking music video right now!

It's real, real good.

It’s now been more than 10 years since Missy Elliott, the great late-’90s/early-’00s rap futurist, released her last album, and a whole generation has been deprived of the amazing stop-the-world feeling that comes when Missy drops a new video. Well, no longer. Missy teased “WTF (Where They From),” a new collaboration with fellow Virginian iconoclast Pharrell Williams, on Monday Night Football last month.

No longer will we just be teased time and time again with football related Missy performances.  This time we get our own brand new thaaaaaang!

Because now we get to hear the song and, more importantly, see the incredible video. The track, with its propulsive beat and nonsensical fly talk, is vintage Missy, and the video is even more vintage Missy. It’s one long surrealist dance attack, with Missy dressing like a disco ball and hosting a dance party in what looks like a cryogenic freezing chamber. We also get to see dancing marionette puppet version of both Missy and Pharrell. It’s so awesome. Missy co-directed the video with her old collaborator Dave Meyers

Check it out below.

We missed you!  Please don't ever leave us again.

Tuesday, November 10, 2015

This Is Against The Rules Earth

In life you have to take the good with the bad because you have no choice. Fine. In the forest, though, you should be able to put your foot down: no gross and scary stuff with the ground.

Even if it’s just because of the “wind,” this is against the rules.

This phenomenon, known as literally "breathing earth" was caught on video in the forests of Nova Scotia, by one (probably terrified) hiker.  One who probably wanted to document their last moments on the planet, being that they were clearly in a horror movie, and wanted to leave something for their loved ones to find.

No thank you.

The Ugliest Characters of Fallout 4

Fallout 4 is out, and that means that many Wastelanders are embarking on their next huge Bethesda Game Works RPG, a massive open world of apocalyptic goodness that only they can provide.

However, before one begins their adventure, they must start with one step.  In a Bethesda RPG that can only mean one thing: Character Creation.  That's right, the hours you spend to meticulously create your video game avatar's stunning looks, only to put a full helmet on them and never see their face again.

Some people make the character look like themselves, some choose to just run with the default, and some people, those special people out there, try to really do something insane. 

The character creation system in Fallout 4 sure is robust. There are seemingly endless options. But there’s one thing it’s especially good at: making unsightly characters.

Kill me!

No wonder some players are trying to make the most repugnant characters imaginable. So far, the rogues gallery is impressively hideous.

Horrifying?  No. Goofy as fuck? Yes.

The themes here are excellent.
Oh sweet Jesus!

Of course, you can make beautiful characters, too, but what fun is that? (A lot, actually.)

Fallout 4 is for the next few hundred hours of my life, where I will be if you need me.

Monday, November 9, 2015

Happy Trees Never Die As Bob Ross Will Returns To Twitch

Last week, streaming website Twitch did something really special.  To celebrate the unveiling of their Creative platform, where streamers can create artwork, they streamed a marathon of the entirety of Internet's favorite son's television show: The Joy of Painting With Bob Ross.  For 8 days, one channel was dedicated to none other than our favorite afro sporting, soft talking, happy tree painter, Bob Ross. Needless to say, it was a hit, with hundreds of thousands tuning in at a time to relax and watch some art be made in front of their eyes.  

He really is the best.

The Bob Ross Twitch marathon ended with a peculiar twist: a ‘Stay Tuned’ countdown. Now we know why: Bob Ross isn’t actually going away! Congrats, #KEEPBOB supporters.

According to a Twitch press release, the Bob Ross broadcast was so successful, they’ve decided to keep it around, long-term. Only this time, instead of having a perpetual stream, Bob Ross will only broadcast once a week.
Every Monday night, a season of The Joy of Painting will play on the Bob Ross channel. It will run from 3 PM PST to 9:30 PST, which means that re-runs will only occur “once every seven months,” Twitch says.
In addition to that, Twitch will be doing a yearly marathon to celebrate Bob Ross’ birthday, just like they did this year. And of course, throughout this, Twitch viewers will be able to subscribe to the channel. If viewers decide to spend money, that cash will be distributed to the following entities:

- The rights holders - the wonderful folks who have kept Bob’s work alive all this time

- Root division, our local arts organization supporting artists as well as teaching children the arts

- St Jude, an amazing cancer research organization

- Twitch Creative community support
During the initial Bob Ross run on Twitch, 5.6 million people tuned in. For comparison’s sake, the original Twitch Plays Pokemon ended up with 9 million unique viewers—but that initial stream also ran for twice as long. Like I said last time: people really latched on to Bob Ross, and he’s quickly become a Twitch institution. I’m glad the Bob Ross Twitch streams will continue!

Hungry IHOP Parking Lot Opens Up And Swallows 12 Cars

A giant hole at a Mississippi IHOP opened up wide and gobbled an extra-large serving of pavement and cars on Sunday, finally reaching “that full feeling” after eating 12 cars, trucks and SUVs.

A section of the parking lot caved in on Saturday night, creating a hole about 35 feet wide and 400 feet long, according to the Associated Press. Luckily, no one was hurt in the incident.

Meridian Public Safety Director Buck Roberts told The Meridian Star the collapse was not a sinkhole but didn’t provide any further details.

It’s not clear what it could be if not a sinkhole — an underground tunnel? But as long as we’re on the subject, here’s a reminder that sinkholes are actually much scarier than they sound.

Sunday, November 8, 2015

Elmo Versus The Jet Engine

Hope I’m not spoiling the outcome of this battle for anybody.

It doesn't go well for the muppet.

In the name of parents everywhere, PowerModz strapped either the most delightful or most insufferable (depending on many factors) Muppet on Sesame Street to a pole and placed that pole behind the jet engine that was just sitting around on the back of a truck. The results are as delightful as the man in the animal hat is annoying.

Goodbye Elmo.  RIP.  We hardly knew ya.

FUNDAY: Holiday Style

Wake up world, because it is time for a celebration.  It's November (my birthday month) which means it is one month until Christmas and a few weeks until Thanksgiving.  This is the good part of the year.  The part where it may be cold, but you don't care because you are drowning in warm turkey and mashed potatoes.

Enjoy yourselves will ya?


Riff Raff

It's November and there is a new Riff Raff album.  Christmas has come early y'all.  Also, of course he has the Jabbawokeez in his video because of course he does.  I am so happy right now.

Justin Bieber

Speaking of great things in 2015...the Biebs continues his wildly successful campaign to make you like him again by putting out the most introspective slappers of the year.  So far 3 songs have been released off of his upcoming Nov. 13th album, and he is 3 for 3 on straight BANGERZ.  This one is the newest, and the most deeply apologetic for all the wild shit JB has been getting into the past couple years.  It's cool Justin, we forgive you, just keep working with Skrillex and giving us stuff like this.

Sticky Drama

This is, in every sense of the term, in all ways possible fucking sick.  Both disgusting and awesome, repulsive and lovely.  It's the electronic version of death metal, and it is the best.

Frankie Cosmos

Do you like to chill?  Do you like to chill but also have a killer groove while you sit on the couch? The kind that doesn't interrupt your comfortable slouch, but just makes you wiggle whilst still maintaining maximum relaxation. Yes?  Well, then lemme lay a little song on you right now...

Becky G

Dr. Luke’s protege might never be an A-list pop star, but Luke keeps feeding her all these low-key jams, and yeah, I do kind of love it.


Just when you think she is about to go pop on us...


That's it. Eat and grow fat.

Friday, November 6, 2015

New International Star Wars Trailer Is Packed With The Goods

Wow. You thought you were done with new Star Wars trailers after the recent, amazing one we just had? Think again. Disney has released an international cut of the trailer—one that is packed with new shots and dialogue.

And, of course, more droids!

The trailer, which you can see below, follows a similar thematic path as the recent teaser, but we get to hear more from Rey and how she’s waiting for her family. We get to see Kylo Ren’s controversial new lightsaber in action. There’s a glimpse of Leia and C-3PO, of gorgeous vistas and alien suns—and then Lupita Nyong’o’s Maz Kanata ends the trailer by saying “Hope is not lost today... it is found.” See for yourself!

Please let us see this movie already. Also, don't show me any more of this, I was sold last year.

Thursday, November 5, 2015

No Bono Needed As You Watch The U-2 Spy Plane Do It's Thing

The U-2 is one of the coolest planes ever built.  It basically goes to space, and can then take crystal clear pictures of earth, while in space.  It's the kind of technology dreams are made of.

No, not The Edge.  We are flying on the edge.

Getting inside the cockpit and seeing the flight of a U-2 spy plane is so damn cool. Not only because it’s such a gorgeous looking plane—it’s basically a glider with an engine attached that can take it to the stratosphere—but because it’s also such a delicate one too. We get to see it take off and do the tenuous dance of landing and see the space suit-like suit the pilot wears and the limited field of vision inside the plane and so much more.

So cool.

Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Watch Russia's Scary/Cool Bombers Do Their Dirty Business

The Russian Air Force’s Tupolev TU-160 is a gorgeous-looking plane with sweeping wings and the capability to reach supersonic speeds. It’s also a scary powerful bomber aircraft with the ability to launch the frightening KH-555 cruise missile, an air-launched missile that can be equipped with a nuclear warhead and has a 2,175 mile range.

The way Russia is acting as of late, somebody is gonna get acquainted with this thing.

Here’s training footage showing how those missiles are unleashed.

It's equally cool as it is scary.

Dosvedanya comrades.

One Man Makes Awesome Poster Of Every Star Wars Vehicle

Star Wars is on everyone's brain right now it seems, so what better time than now to be exposed to something incredibly stylish, and incredibly Star Wars. this...

Oh yeah, that is the stuff...

Artist Scott Park managed to do the incredible: he drew nearly all the identifiable spaceships and vehicles and animals used in the original Star Warstrilogy and laid them out in one awesome poster you can buy. There’s basically everything you love and know here: the Millennium Falcon, both Death Stars, TIE Fighters, AT-AT, and more.

And we are not just talking ships here.  You want speeders? BOOM.  You want banthas.  NO PROBLEM.  You want that cool crawler/tank the Jawas roll around scrapping in?  Top right corner my friend.  It even has a Tauntaun, the most useless conveyance in the entire planet of Hoth.

Daddy needs this.

You can buy the full poster here. You can also snag versions of the poster specifically for Episode IV, Episode V, and Episode VI.

Mr. Park, if you're out there, you are a cool dude.

Tuesday, November 3, 2015

Watch A Centipede Eat A Cockroach Because Nature Is Metal

We live in a sick world, ruled by a sick God.  That said, nature is pretty god damned metal.

All you need is to add some sick death metal to this, and you have a good music video.  Because much like death metal, nature pulls no punches, and is...BRUTAL.

When a centipede eats a cockroach, it doesn’t do so mercifully. It eats chunks of the cockroach’s body first, relishing in the power it wields over an inferior and fewer-legged arthropod.

This video is even sicker than it looks at first glance, too. Reddit users pointed out that the cockroach was actually glued to the rock — an unwitting prey with no way of escape. Upon closer inspection, it does look as though the roach has, indeed, been glued in place to await his fate.

While this is a feeding video, where ostensibly someone is feeding their pet centipede, a pet that absolutely makes zero sense, it still must be said. Animals are cruel, but people are crueler.

Devil horns!

Monday, November 2, 2015

Filmmakers Don't Need Nintendo To Make Awesome Metroid Thing

Nintendo may not at the moment seemed too jazzed about Metroid, but here's the cool thing about the Internet: You don't need Nintendo these days to make something cool in the world of Samus.  Like some very talented fans just demonstrated.

This gif is better than the entirety of the last Metroid game.

Metroid: The Sky Calls is an 11-minute, fan-made short film that shows Samus having a very bad day at the office. It is—relative to the scope and budget—pretty damn good.

It’s made by Rainfall Productions, the same team behind that cool Wonder Woman fan short from a few years back, and stars Nerdist’s Jessica Chobot as Samus.

I like how more and more fan shorts—except for the truly exceptional ones—these days are smart enough to work within the limitations of their budget, and write (and frame their shots) accordingly.

Check it out:

Suffice to say, this is not an official Nintendo joint:

This non-profit film is not associated with or endorsed by Nintendo or its subsidiaries.

It's cool Nintendo, we know you don't and cannot support this thing, but maybe perhaps keep your collective eyes open?  People still love Metroid...and they are waiting...   More women and girls do and continue to play video games than ever before, and given the distinct lack of women heroes...maybe you should bring one of the ultimate ones back...

(Just saying.)

AMC's Preacher Will Bless Television In 2016

Last night during The Walking Dead, AMC gave us our first glimpse into one of their upcoming shows for 2016.  It's another comic book show and not unlike Walking Dead, just so happens to be one of my favorite series of all time.  And again, much like the mind blowing announcement that Walking Dead would be a television series, this new comic adaptation is both unbelievable and exciting.

Preacher is coming.

The series, which filmed its pilot earlier this year, is based on Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon's comic book series of the same name. With Breaking Bad's Sam Catlin serving as showrunner and developed for TV by Seth Rogen and Evan Goldberg, Preacher stars Dominic Cooper, Ruth Negga and Joseph Gilgun.

The new AMC drama follows Cooper as Jesse Custer, a preacher in a small town in Texas who develops special abilities. Negga stars as Jesse's ex-girlfriend Tulip, while Gilgun plays an Irish vampire named Cassidy. Together they set off on a journey to find God in the flesh.
Preacher is slated for a mid-2016 premiere on AMC.

Check out the first trailer, and I would advise if you don't know anything about Preacher, but like what you see below, maybe just wait to find out what the show is about.  It is worth the surprise, believe me.

I cannot stress enough how excited I am for this.

Sunday, November 1, 2015

FUNDAY: Spooked You Good

Gotcha Internet!  Oh man, you should see your face!

Okay, I know it's a day past Halloween, but Funday comes when it comes.  You can't help that, and the spooking must be done regardless. Besides, what's more scary and unexpected than the scares that come after Halloween.  So...

Gotcha again! Come on Internet, get it together.


Curren$y f/August Alsina and Lil' Wayne

Nothing here but a banger.  Even if you don't enjoy Alsina, and Wayne's near decade of coasting is on your nerves, you have to admit that Currensy is one of the most consistent dudes out there.  Also, playing spin the bottle where you drink a shot each time is a great idea.

Travis Scott f/Kanye West

Despite what your 17 year old sister might tell you, Travis Scott is almost devoid of any actual talent.  Good thing for him that he knows Kanye West, who despite what your 54 year old racist uncle might tell you, is very talented. Trav has at least the sense to enlist Yeezus here for a song from his album, which is really just a Kanye song.  No complaints here. 


Guess what everyone?  One of the world's most popular experimental artists just made a new Pop song, and you know what?  It's just as good as all of her other music.  Grimes has never made it a secret that she is in one way like most of us, she loves a good popular music song.  Now she is making her own.  Don't worry though, the video is still the old Grimes we all love as well. 

The 1975

This video is, in case you didn't realize, supposed to be satire.  Not very clever satire, or subtle mind you, but this band of pretty boys has never been accused of being too clever or subtle before.  However, they do make the kind of INXS in the new millennium music that forgives any misgivings they may make on film.


All hail the rise of the damaged, Harmony Korine-looking Scandinavian K-pop video.


That's it.