Tuesday, December 16, 2014

Slaughterhouse Escapee Cow Dies Hero's Death

Sometimes, when you find yourself in a hopeless situation, like say being a cow on the literal way to the slaughterhouse.  You have to take your life into your own hands...or hooves...You have to say, "Not today world.  Today is not the day I die," like one particular cow did.

A cow made a glorious escape from an Idaho meatpacking factory this week, only to perish in a hail of police bullets.

I may be a cow, but I am at least not like all you pigs!  You'll never take me alive coppers!

The extra-large meat machine managed to escape his hamburger fate for a brief moment that seemed to last forever, an officer detailed, breathlessly one imagines, to local reporters.

Police Lieutenant Ian Nelson to local news outlet KPVI:

"It was not a very long time, although when you have a thousand pound animal that's running in the streets it can sure seem like a long time."

The freedom spree was short, but oh so sweet.  Although destined to end in tragedy.  Five officers tracked the walking filet and gunned it down, shooting the animal three times "in the name of public safety (and burgers for all)."

Cops say he's now running around at a big farm upstate where he has lots of room to play and is having a great time, promise!

That's one cow that just had too much...beef...with the law.  

I'll see myself out.

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