|Can I make a long distance call? I mean really long distance.|
His name is Brian Chellis, he is 23-years-old, and he likes to get drunk in his finest "Elf on a Shelf" costume. When the cops found him, he was passed out in his running van at 2 a.m. in the most magical place on earth, the aforementioned Target.
When finally awoke, not by the pitter patter of tiny hooves but the knocking of one fist of an average size policeman, he "seemed confused to of his whereabouts." (Hopefully the officer mentioned something to the effect of not being in the North Pole anymore.) He also had an open container in the van.
Then, just as a parent might relocate a real Elf on a Shelf before sunrise, Chellis too, was transported to a new location: jail.
Merry Christmas Mr Chellis! Now instead of toys you'll be making something new! License plates!