Wednesday, December 24, 2014

Man Wins Eggnog Chugging Contest And Also Trip To ICU

Finally.  Definitive proof that the human man is meant to chug only alcohol.

Downing a quart of creamy mucilage in just 12 seconds, Ryan Roche of Lehi, Utah dominated an office eggnog chugging contest earlier this month. His prize? A $50 gift certificate to Ruth's Chris Steak House.  Can't blame him.  That place is delicious.  He even won a secondary prize too, although it was not nearly as enjoyable as that steak is gonna be. It was three days in the hospital with pneumonia.

Go ahead, get all that 'nog outta there.  I need room for steak!

Roche to ABC News:

"I just decided I was going to win. So I pretty much just opened it up and poured it down my throat.  Two hours later I was laying on the couch, shaking uncontrollably, nauseous, having fevers and panting."

According to doctors, Lehi managed to get the alcohol-free eggnog in his lungs, resulting in an infection.  Hey though, technically that's just another place to store eggnog when you clearly have the eye of the tiger.  And did he win?  You bet your ass he did!

It being 2014, the perversely wholesome drinking contest was caught on video:

Merry Holidays.

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