Monday, December 15, 2014

Batman to Batman, "I'm Batman."

Whether we're sharing a pack of gum or just slashing our boss's tires, aren't we all, in some small way, Batman? No, because Michael Keaton exists.  Michael Keaton is Batman and the rest of us are just waiting to be rescued.

Somebody had to do it first.  It was me by god.

When recently asked a (stupid) question about whether he was envious of Ben Affleck, who will be the new version of The Dark Knight in the upcoming Batman v Superman film, Keaton told Variety:

"No," adding, "Do you know why? Because I'm Batman. I'm very secure in that."

Of course he isn't.  Especially when the guy being compared to is Ben Affleck.  Here are some other reasons why he is nonplussed:

  • He already was Batman
  • He actually walked away from being Batman after two movies, presumably because he is Michael Keaton and can do whatever the hell he wants.
  • Perhaps the only criteria Ben Affleck possesses that makes him suitable to play Batman is a fitting chin structure
  • He is mother fuckin' Michael Keaton

Keaton, when he is not being asked to suffer fools, is in the midst of being nominated for many awards for playing the titular character in his latest film Birdman, who happens to be another costumed crimefighter.  Only this is a different kind of movie.

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