Monday, November 3, 2014

Asshole Surfs Dead Whale Then Gets Trapped By Sharks

This past Saturday a dumbass totally normal, sane man decided to hop on the carcass of a floating dead whale that had been dead for several weeks. He did this so he could surf on top of it for fun. Which it probably was, well, until he noticed that the waters all around him were spotted with hungry sharks.  This is something that happens when there is free food in the water, regardless if that free food has a person on top of it who is stupid.

Well, this seemed like a good idea at the time...

Harrison Williams, 26, told the Daily Mail Australia that he was trying to save the whale, saying: 

"Basically the whale looked in distress and I tried to help it. But clearly I was too late."

Now this is clearly a lie, or Williams really is a dumbass.  This is because clearly from the picture above there could have been no way for this man to have confused the dead whale for, uh, a live whale.

"I was out on the boat with the boys and one of my mates said it would be pretty funny to surf the whale so I did it."

Ah, the old "Come on dude, it will be totally funny," routine.  The doom of many a Darwin Award recipient.

According to Perth Now, Williams saw the sharks when he swam over to the whale, but they didn't deter him. Instead, when a great white shark popped up to munch on the dead creature, his friends came to his rescue with the nearby boat. As the Daily Mail reports, Williams is a lover of extreme sports and as Williams himself shared, his parents think he is an idiot.

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