Friday, October 31, 2014

AOTW: They Never Expect The Teletubby

Welcome to the Asshole of The Week, where every Friday we focus on a person, place, or thing that is the absolute worst.  This week we find that to be an asshole you don't need to just be a jerk, but you can be a total dumbass as well.

That is exactly what 20-year-old Terez S. Owens Jr. is.  That's because he is facing charges for breaking into a home in Bethlehem, Pennsylvania and stealing some Chinese food.  It is also worth mentioning that he did all this while dressed as the yellow Teletubby, better known as La-La.

The Boohbahs would never do something like this.

Easton, Pennsylvania's Express-Times reports the Teletubby, broke into a friend's house around 2 a.m. Sunday morning, damaging the friend's door. According to police, Owens then went to the fridge and dumped leftover Chinese food—perhaps intentionally outside of the standard Teletubby diet (tubby custard ["tubby tustard"] and tubby toast) to throw cops off the scent—into a "man purse" before leaving.

Police caught up with him soon after (probably because there weren't many other people dressed as Teletubbies on the street at that time) and identified him as the suspect, which to reiterate, was a Teletubby.

Though the victims first declined to press charges, Bethlehem police Chief Mark DiLuzio told the Express-Times that they changed their minds after their landlord got involved. 

From the Express-Times:
The residents met Wednesday with a detective, and police filed charges of criminal mischief and disorderly conduct with District Judge Nancy Matos-Gonzalez's office, DiLuzio said. They will be sent to Owens via summons.

"Not that many Teletubbies get arrested," the Chief said of the arrest.

Yeah, sure.

Not that many Teletubbies get caught.

The worst part about the whole thing?  La-La is a girl.  At least get that right.

Congratulations Mr. Owens, you are an idiot and thereby the Asshole of The Week.  You've earned it.

What did you think dear reader?  Let your opinion be heard in the comments. Don't forget to subscribe, like and follow the blog if you like what you see. Or contact me on Twitter @LucasBlaine  

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