Wednesday, October 22, 2014

AOTW: Man Faked Coma For Years To Get Out Of Court

Welcome back to The Asshole of The Week, where each Friday we single out a person, place, or thing that is the absolute worst.  This week however, things just couldn't wait, for one asshole across the pond is just to heinous to sleep on.

One con artist proved his dedication to his craft as he put up a charade whereby he faked a coma every time he was going to be summoned to court.  He managed to keep it up for two years.

Two years of that when you didn't need it?  Woah buddy.

Police in South Wales say 47-year-old Alan Knight—who had also been illegally living off benefits by pretending to be a quadriplegic—had spent about three years conning his neighborout of $65,000 when he came up on their radar.

He told the authorities that he had injured his spine in a, get this, garage door accident.  He claimed this had paralyzed him from the neck down and caused seizures that occasionally put him into a coma.  His wife, who also sucks as a person, played along with his ploy.  She "cared" for him at the hospital, and pushed his wheelchair into the courtroom.  

However, like most people who do this sort of thing, Knight was not wholly dedicated to his lie. Also, he was an idiot. The imaginative conman got busted after the court was presented with CCTV footage of Knight—un-paralyzed, very-much-awake—driving and shopping at a supermarket.

His doctors also thought it was strange when their coma patient was seen "eating, wiping his face, and even writing."

Police also noted that Knight happened to be an asshole of a person:
Jim Davis, prosecuting, who did not open the case, said another aggravating feature was that Knight had made a "totally false" attempt to blame his own son for the offences.

Congratulations Mr. Knight, you are clearly a gigantic, massive, total asshole and therefore The Asshole of The Week.  Fuck you very much.

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