Thursday, October 16, 2014

AOTW: Just Eat The Food, Don't Be A Pervert

Sometimes the Assholes just cannot wait until Friday...

Welcome back to The Asshole of The Week, where usually every Friday (except in this case today) we single out one person, place, or thing that is the absolute worst.  This week we have a man, whose hankering for Mickey D's is only eclipsed by his lust to touch his own "Little Ronald McDonald" in public.

Cory D. Peterson, 45, of Bay City, Mich., was sentenced by a judge to two years probation Monday after pleading no contest to an indecent exposure charge from an incident in September where he exposed himself to female employees in the drive-thru of a McDonald's.

How is this so often the scene of a crime?

The Bay City Times reports that Peterson, who is, what do you know, a registered sex offender, (following a 2003 criminal sexual conduct conviction) drove up to the window of a Bay City McDonald's and ordered a McDouble.

When the employee working the booth—the store's manager—returned to hand Peterson his change, she saw that he had offered her his own version of a "McDouble" containing his double balls and penis.  He didn't reach his hand out to collect his money.  He thought it a better idea that he exposed himself and began masturbating.

According to the police report obtained by the Bay City Times, the manager told officers:

"I was in shock when I saw it. He said, 'Have a nice day.' Then he drove away."

Peterson wasn't done there though, he was still hungry.  Hungry for committing a idiotic and disgusting crime, and needed seconds.  Minutes later he entered the drive-thru again, ordering again.  Can you guess what he for the second time after that?  If you said, "Drove up to the window and proceeded to masturbate in front of another female employee," you are correct, and probably a creep yourself for guessing right.

The second employee informed the manager that she had been the victim of this Asshole as well, and here the employees made their move. They had Peterson park, telling him they were waiting on fries to finish cooking, while they called police.  Since he is also a fool along with a pervert, he did so. Officers reportedly found Peterson in his parked car with his pants unzipped.

In addition to his probation, Peterson will have to pay $1,535 in court fines and will be required to enter an outpatient sex offender rehabilitation program.

Congratulations Mr. Peterson, you are such a deserving Asshole that the whole feature came a day early just to honor you with your dubious title.  You are not only a pervert, but an idiot as well, and most definitely The Asshole of The Week. 

Next time, just eat the fucking burgers and don't be so disgusting.

What did you think dear reader?  Let your opinion be heard in the comments. Don't forget to subscribe, like and follow the blog if you like what you see. Or contact me on Twitter @LucasBlaine

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