Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Hero Cow Goes Down In Hail of Bullets

Months after an escaped steer was shot and killed in the streets of Baltimore, another freedom-seeking bovine died a hero's death in Germany. Refusing to be another hamburger, the cow, later nicknamed Bavaria, fled a Munich slaughterhouse Tuesday and went on a wild rampage through the city, leading police on a high-speed chase towards Oktoberfest and goring a jogger before finally being put down.


I wonder if the cow was wearing cool sunglasses all the while.



The 28-year-old jogger suffered "massive injuries" after being struck in the back by the 1,200 pound animal.  Although it is unclear how a 1,200 pound animal could sneak up behind someone to be able to give them massive injuries.

A police spokesperson:

"Luckily her life is not in danger. She will have to spend some time being treated in the hospital."

The determined heifer wasn't done with her rampage though.  She went for another person, but was blocked by a police vehicle, which was damaged.

Finally, after an hour-long chase, police shot the cow, first with their sidearms, which proved ineffective, and then fatally with a rifle. "Unfortunately there was no other way to stop the cow," the police spokesman told the Local. "We had to stop the danger to the public."

Animal rights activists set up a memorial, complete with notes and stuffed animals at the site of the cow's death.  Animal rights activists can be really weird sometimes.

One note read:

"Here died the cow 'Bavaria'. She wanted to live and fled the abattoir. She died here under a hail of bullets! Let her henceforth be a symbol for our striving for freedom."

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