Apple dorks, they are everywhere. Clutching onto their wads of cash in anticipation of Tim Cook blessing them with a new version of the thing that they already bought a few times. So naturally when the Porterhouse steak of Apple hardware, the iPhone 6, was announced, the Apple dorks rejoiced.
|They are letting us give them our money again! Wow!|
Quickly they found out the day to take off of work, so that they would have the privilege to stand in line and get a phone that is pretty much like the phone they already have. Only smaller, or bigger, in the case of the new iPhone 6+.
One of these people was Jack. Jack is an Apple dork. He thought he was living the Apple dork's dream. After sleeping outside of the Apple Store in Perth, Australia he was the first to purchase an iPhone 6. Then he hit the big time, he landed an unboxing interview on Today.
However, once the cameras started rolling, the nightmare began. You see, along with being an Apple dork, Jack is part doofus as well. As he went to unbox his brand new, first sold iPhone, of course he dropped it.
With hands shaking like little iPhone icons when you need to delete one of them, in a cacophony of worried "oooh"s and camera's shuttering, Jack picked up his iPhone 6. "It's all good!" he said. But is it? Is it?
You may have a new phone Jack, the first in the country of the Wallaby, but you are still our Asshole of The Week. Hold on to your overpriced electronics you doofus. Congratulations!