Tuesday, August 12, 2014

The Army Is Getting Cool New Workout Clothes

Army dudes and dudettes work hard.  They have to be making moves all the time.  This requires them to be not fat, and to be not fat they have to work out.

When you are working out, everybody knows that one thing is the most important, that is looking good.  This is the one flaw that Army folks everywhere have had to put up with...until now.  That's because they have some new workout duds, cool ones.

Look how happy he is compared to those dorks on the right.

You do still have to tuck your shirt in, but hey its the Army, not a fashion show.  So far the reactions have been positive from our ladies and gentlemen soldierfolk.  From the Army Times:

"It just fits better, it looks better," Chandler said. "Lots of folks that we talked to said, 'I would actually wear that downtown or at the mall.'

So there you have it.  The soldiers would wear them to the mall, the place where you gotta stunt on people.  So it passes the cool check.  No word though if they will have to tuck their shirts in at the mall.  Hopefully not.

However, not everything about the new duds is up to snuff.  The new clothes may look cool, but your ass will still stank in them after your workout.  Sorry Army:

Despite soldier requests, the uniform does not include anti-microbial properties that would have helped reduce odor.

What will become of our single and ready to mingle fighting force when they meet at the mall looking like a bunch of very fit smelly dorks? Well they'll all be the same amount of stank and look the same so I think it won't matter too much.




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