Sunday, August 3, 2014

Funday: Your Sucka Free Guide

Woo!  You already know you suckas, it's time for another Funday.  The day before the day where you have to work again (unless you have a shitty job where you have to work weekends.)  And let me tell you something, remember when I called you a sucka earlier in this paragraph?

Well here is a tip, when you need to call people a sucka, and you often will in this lifetime of yours.  Make sure that you put some venom on that thing.  Too often people don't put the necessary stank on it to make that word sting properly.  Don't just call them a "sucka" like you are a shy 5-year-old shuffling your feet between licks of your lollypop.  Call that motherfucker a SUCKA, and probably add some curse words for further effect if needed.

Trust me, it will do wonders for your lifestyle.  See?  Not only is Funday a valuable source of enjoyment, but also an equally informative source of lifestyle tips and tricks.  Even if you are afraid to use the word sucka, you can at least make sure that you aren't living the life of one.

How do you do that?  Well, just remember: Be like former NBA superstar Detlef Scrempf.  He was no sucka, nor did he suffer them.

100% of the time occupies a sucka-free-zone.
Also, if you think you shouldn't ask any questions...DON'T

There, now you can comfortably address suckas whilst living your own life sucka-free.  Now go enjoy you sucka ass bitches!


The Weeknd

Real shit incoming:  I have not liked anything The Weeknd has done since The Trilogy.  This is a shame because I loved those first three mixtapes.  He got derivative and frankly, neutered.  Well, it was either that or he was doing that screeching falsetto that he thinks he can do so well, but is actually grating and annoying.  However, the titular single off his new mixtape finds him back in form.  Filthy degenerate song writing mixed with hummable registers.  Glad he is back.


From now on if anyone asks me what kind of electronic music I like, I will just play them this song to illustrate my answer.  Going to a EDM festival like Tomorrowland sounds to me like an absolute hell on earth type of situation.  However, if there was a similar festival for delicate electro-pop like this, you would find me camping out every year.


Oh Harriet, why does the Internet continue to refuse to watch your excellent videos and listen to your equally excellent pop songs?  I don't have any answers for you sadly, but until I do I will just continue to champion you from my shitty blog.


I have been lucky enough in my choices of jobs so far to have not had to spend much time in stuffy offices like this one.  I like to think that if I did though, I would try to have as much fun as everybody in this video.  Extra props to everyone featured for figuring out ways to dance to a song that doesn't really scream "dance."


"Have you ever been lost? We could get lost...I wanna get lost." Warning, make sure you have about at least a half hour to spare before you listen to this song.  That's because although it is only a little over 4 minutes, you are gonna want to listen to it multiple times in a row.  It's a fact.  Especially after you hear the break down around 2:24.  You are going to be as hopelessly hooked as I am, there's no getting around it.


British NASCAR Commentary

Welcome to the world of British NASCAR, where feet are welded to cars, hands are washed, and nobody knows why someone is stealing Jimmie Johnson's tires (tyres.)

Plizzanet Earth

Pull on ova to the sizzide of the road Sizzir David Attenborough, it's the time of the Double-O-double-G now.

8bit Grunge

So dumb, in the absolute very best ways.

DMX on a Slingshot

Even if you are the Darkman, rides can sometimes be scary.  X is gonna get it though, no matter what.  Go ahead, make fun while you can, because we all know you aren't gonna say shit to his face.

Bonus Clip

That's all you suckas.  Enjoy your week, till next time.

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