Wednesday, July 23, 2014

The Rock Finally Tells The Story Of The Most 90's Photo Ever

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, movie star, eyebrow raiser, human-hulk, caused quite the stir last week when a photo of him surfaced on Instagram.  It was from 1996, and became famous because it is quite possibly the most 90's photo of all time.  What photo you may ask?

This one:

What? No giant mobile phone?

As you can see, the photo has it all.  High-top fade?  Check.  Tucked in turtleneck blessed by chain?  Oh you know that's a check.  90's Playgirl pose/lean?  Check and check.  Topped off exquisitely by the leather fanny pack.  The only way this photo could be more 90's was if this was playing on VHS in the background.

However, like all mythological things, the photo appeared online with no explanation.  Just pure unadulterated 90's Rock, all up in yo' business.

Now though, the story can finally be told.  Last night The Rock appeared on The Tonight Show, where Jimmy Fallon did the lord's work and grilled him about the hard questions.  Like, just what was in that fanny pack?  His guess: "Pokemon cards and an inhaler."  Come on Jimmy, we all know the man in that photo is clearly too awesome to get down on Pokemon.  Clearly it was Pop-Tarts and condoms.  You know Rocky gets down with safe sex.





Clearly the tissue was there to protect The People's Elbow.  One does just not touch The People's Elbow.

Take it easy on us Rock, surely you have more of these.  Release them sparingly, the Internet cannot just handle a flood of things this awesome.


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