Sunday, June 22, 2014

Funday: Let's Kick It

GOOOOOOOAAAAAALLLLLLs are important in life.

Like the goal of our national U.S. Soccer team, which is to win the tourney that we are all shins deep in currently.  Otherwise known as the one time in four years where all Americans do their best to understand Football, or Futbol, or *gasp* Soccer.

We have it all.  Rapping Strikers (looking at you Dempsey), cool uniforms, yellow shoes (boots for all you Europeans), and even a rad name for all our fans.  The Outlaws, which this writer assumes is because it would be an absolute crime against Football for us to win the World Cup.

Give me liberty or...a...PK?

We even won our first game, so naturally everyone is excited, until we eventually blow it.

Don't worry though, because the Internet will always be here, even when we have to wait four more years...  There will always be stuff like this though:

(wait for

Stuff you can believe in.



Well, it has happened.  I have finally reached the age where things that I liked what seemed like yesterday are actually old enough to qualify as "old school."  If you are currently in your late twenties, you may not realize, or want to realize, that G-Unit was popular more than ten years ago.  I know, it is crazy.  In the eyes of people who were literally children in 2002, this qualifies them as "old school."  That being said, the comeback of 50 Cent to rap music, and his subsequent reformation of Gorilla Unit is pretty cool.  50 deserves a comeback, dude is a star.


From one decade earlier of a rap supergroup to this generation's.  ASAP Mob is back with their second posse album, and back to their old tricks.  That is, somehow making a rather simple and dirty BET Uncensored type rap video look high concept and artsy.  Don't know how they do it, perhaps it has something to do with the fact that their total throwback style (nobody wears jerseys anymore!) and tribute style affected Bone Thugs flow.  Or maybe it's just because Ferg is the best.  One thing is clear though, everybody you know is gonna be singing this hook, regardless of gender.


They are back Internet, and they are here to once again take all of your online views.  The band that has become more known for their brilliant takes on the music video form, than their inoffensive pop music, has done it again.  Even when you figure out what they are doing, it will still mess with your head.  By the way, it's called skewed perspective, look it up.

Jessie Ware

I am gonna go ahead and save you the trouble of agonizing over where you heard the drum samples in this song.  It's from Prince, which may or may not be the reason why this song has been on repeat for a while now.  Well, it is certainly one of them.  Part of it is also the wonderful ability of Ware to sell us all some deep-seated serious emotions without ever selling them.  That's what she does.

Yung Lean

That's it.  This blog is over.  It is now transitioning into becoming an intricate part of the Yung Lean Industrial Complex, designed whole-hog to push Yung Lean, everyone's favorite white Swedish rapper, unwillingly onto the masses?  Why you ask?  Because that is him rapping in a cave next to a My Little Pony.  Because that is him rapping about sadness with one hand's fingernails painted black.  Because that is him GHOSTRIDING A MOTHERFUCKING SMART CAR WITH SUICIDE DOORS BECAUSE SWEDEN IS A NATION THAT CARES ABOUT SAFETY AND ECONOMY EVEN WHILE STUNTING TO A BALL-SIZZLING DEGREE.  There is no why, there is only Yung Lean.


TV Censorship

I am tired of these monkey-fighting censors on these monday to friday movies.  Find out what happens when you find a stranger in the Alps.

Untippable Motorcycle

Sure, the music is a little much for what is essentially a proof of concept video.  That doesn't mean though that the two seater, electric motorcycle that cannot tip over is not still really cool.  Even if it seems impossible that you could actually fit two real people inside of it.

If The Earth Stopped Spinning

Get a little science in you with Vsauce as he explains what would happen to you if the earth just decided to stop spinning one day.  No, you wouldn't shoot out into space, the results would be much much worse.  That is, unless you are already an astronaut.  Once again, proving that astronauts are the coolest.

Full Contact Skydiving

Watch from the comfort of your home and laugh as some downright lunatics try to convince you that their idea of fighting whilst skydiving is a "sport."  This is what the internet was created for, to laugh at absolutely ridiculous things that people are earnest about.

That's all for this week kids.  See you next Funday.

 What did you think dear reader?  Let your opinion be heard in the comments. Don't forget to subscribe, like and follow the blog if you like what you see. Or contact me on Twitter @LucasBlaine

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