Friday, June 27, 2014

AOTW: Don't Drive A Ferrari If You Are An Idiot

Ferraris are not colloquially described as "supercars" just for fun.  They are built from the ground up for performance, and their exorbitant pricetags do reflect the prestige of the brand, but they also reflect the insane amount of power provided by the four-wheeled vehicles.  Power that, frankly, most people cannot and should not handle.  A Ferrari driven by a professional is something impressive, a display of both engineering and skill.  A Ferrari in the hands of an incapable pair of morons, well, is more than often a waste.


Hundreds of thousands of dollars of waste.

 Even when those people are mechanics, who should understand the type of vehicle they are dealing with.  However if those people are assholes, then the odds are that much will be destroyed.  Like one Ferrari Enzo, a 600 horsepower supercar that retails for about $600,000.

This is what happened when two technicians from Miller Motorcars, Leonardo Garcia and Daniel Palchik respectively, decided to take out the Enzo a car capable of doing 218 m.p.h., onto Interstate-95 in Stamford, Connecticut.  Then they crashed it, well, totaled it by hitting a wall.  

Also, it was not their car.  The car belonged to local bedding magnate and inappropriately surnamed, Michael Fux.  Who may or may not have given them permission.  

At first it was unclear whether the crash was due to mechanical failure, an evasive maneuver, or even an animal.  Turns out it was just caused by plain old idiocy.  

You see there was a witness to the accident, actually less of a witness and more of an unwilling participant named John Michael Hoda.  When the Enzo hit the wall of I-95, the spray of destroyed carbon fiber bodywork hit his Lexus as he drove by, scratching up his hood.  As the Enzo, one of only 399 ever made, skidded along the barrier, Hoda pulled over.

Then he ran across the highway and pulled the two out of the wreckage.

Hoda described his view of the whole scene as such: As he was heading in the opposite direction on I-95, he heard hearing a loud "WHOOM" from the Enzo's V12 as it soared up the rev range and attempted an overtaking maneuver. The car completely spun out, travelled across the entire roadway, and slammed, backwards, into the barrier.

Good thing we kept the plastic on the seats...


At one point, the rear tires actually left the ground from the impact.

"It wasn't just a possibility that they weren't driving at normal speeds," Hoda said. "I had a clear view of what happened."  When asked if he thought they intentionally sped up, "Oh yeah, they floored it."

Traffic was moving at approximately 60 MPH, Hoda added, and based on what he saw and the skid marks the car left behind, he estimated that it had to be going at least double that.

If Hoda seems like he is pretty good at this whole thing, that's probably because he is.  In fact, it is part of his job.  See, Hoda works for Davis Investigations, a private detective firm that is pretty good at figuring this kind of stuff out.

Incredibly, the driver Garcia was somehow only given a ticket for "failing to drive in an established lane" by the Connecticut State Police.  No one would state on record whether they had permission to use the car.

Well fellas, you may have gotten off with a ticket, but not without winning this week's Asshole of The Week.  Congratulations, and fuck you very much.


 What did you think dear reader?  Let your opinion be heard in the comments. Don't forget to subscribe, like and follow the blog if you like what you see. Or contact me on Twitter @LucasBlaine



No comments:

Post a Comment

Tell me what you think. Speak up!