Friday, January 1, 2016

An Owl Is Silently Stalking Oregon's Officials

Silently he watches, high in the trees, talons gripping the wood.  His dark cold eyes follow his targets, digging his talons deep into the wood with anticipation of the violence to come.  

The residents of Oregon have had it with their government leadership, and are taking a non-traditional approach to public discourse: stealthy stalking, followed by a violent lashing with their inch-long talons.

I see all, my neck can swivel like 360 degrees.

One resident in particular is leading the charge: a barred owl, thought to be the same bird that was terrorizing joggers in a Salem, Oregon, park last February, has three people outside the state Capitol building in just one month. The officials are wary of the animal, though no serious injuries have been reported. City parks department spokeswoman Tibby Larson gave Reuters this spectacular gem of a quote:
“It’s silent. You’re just walking along, minding your own business, and an owl comes silently at you from behind.”
Police are monitoring reports of attacks, but probably won’t do anything to stop the owl. Truly, this should serve as a rallying cry to the rest of the nation: if you’re unhappy with your elected officials, take action! The days of passive resistance are gone, and we will be led into the new year by a wild-eyed, talon-wielding owl of freedom.

Wednesday, December 30, 2015

Axl And Slash Are Reuniting Quite Possibly For Real

After months of increasingly loud rumors, now the most surprising non-surprising thing is officially official: A version of Guns N’ Roses featuring Axl Rose and Slash will tour next year.

Ben and Jerry, Lucy and Desi, Tom and Jerry (lots of Jerry's here), Jerry and Neuman, and now Axl and Slash will once again be added to the pantheon of best duos around.

Or will they...

It may happen, but it will most certainly not look like this.

Billboard confirms via “multiple sources” that GNR will headline both weekends of Coachella in April followed by “as many as 25 football stadiums in North America in the summer of 2016.” GNR are also expected to be one of the first bands to play the new Las Vegas Arena, which opens 4/6. These shows would mark Rose and Slash’s first performances together since 7/17/93. Reps for the band and Coachella have not returned requests for comment, but it seems safe to get stoked. (Or not.)

This will either go two ways:


  1. It will happen and probably be cool in a nostalgic way
  2. It will almost happen, and Slash will realize how much he hates Axl still, and everything will explode into a way that only Guns N Roses feuds can.
Either way, it'll probably be cool.

Remember, Axl can't sing, Slash doesn't drink, and neither of them have done anything cool in multiple decades.  That said, this is some NEWS.

CUE THE REGGAE!



Oh yeah.

Monday, December 28, 2015

One Man Has Made The Ultimate Lego Millennium Falcon

Throughout its nearly 40 year history, Star Wars has inspired the young and old to dream and think big – galactically big. Star Wars: The Force Awakens, Lucasfilm/Disney’s latest outing, is breaking box office records and giving a new hope to fans across the globe. And Star Wars’ legions of enthusiasts show their love in many creative ways, whether via fan films, original artwork, and/or by building models (among other ways).

For years, the building block company LEGO has featured Star Wars tie-ins and models ranging from simple toddler models to complex adult kits. And without a doubt, Han Solo’s Millennium Falcon is an undeniable fan favorite. LEGO’s basic Force Awakens model Falcon contains roughly 1,300 pieces builds into a fair-to-middling duplication of the iconic ship. An advanced kit of the YT-1300 freighter can be found online and consists of 5,000 pieces, retailing for the princely sum of $6,000.
But this wasn’t good enough for one Star Wars aficionado. Over the course of a year, LEGO enthusiastMarshall Banana (via Kotaku) built a gorgeous replica of that thousand-year bird of prey using approximately 7,500 pieces – over two thousand pieces more than the largest LEGO kit for sale. At nearly 3 feet long, the impressive model weighs about 22 pounds and follows the design schematic of the actual Falcon meticulously.

Check out images of said “ultimate” Millennium Falcon LEGO design, below:





Banana’s facsimile, which bristles with lighted laser cannons and an illuminated engine, even includes the modified square radar dish to replace the one Lando lost inside the second Death Star. Its only real drawback is its lack of a fully rendered interior. Due to the weight limitations on the central construction, Banana wasn’t able to craft a fully functional interior. However, the model does allow you to “sit” inside a detailed version of the Falcon’s cockpit (view more images of Marshall’s Millennium Falcon in his album).

The dedication and drive of Star Wars fans and LEGO builders alike is truly impressive. And Marshall Banana’s Millennium Falcon is far from his first or only LEGO construct from the Star Wars universe. The block wizard also slapped together an impressive Sandcrawler, a meticulous X-Wing fighter, and several set pieces from famous battles such as Endor and Hoth.

Of course crafting Star Wars replicas from LEGO bricks is clearly not everyone’s forte. One of these beauties takes a great deal of skill, resources, and precision planning, as well as a sizeable chunk of time. If you’re like me, you may want to start with the 9-14 ranged sets and work your way up. However, when it comes to fan creativity, your only true limit is the boundaries of your imagination.